I used to think I would dread the tween and teen years. Sure, the hormones suck. Sometimes they damage my calm in ways that are unimaginable. But, there are moments I really enjoy when their innocence clashes with the world they weren’t aware of in their youth. I keep open dialog with the kids as much as I am able to. It’s important to me that they know they can talk to me about anything. Even if talking to me about anything can make me uncomfortable.
Sometimes it’s hilarious.
My Sometimes Awkward 12 Year Old Daughter – Maybe he is going to be her… loooooveerrrrr…. (does this weird eyebrow thing)
Me – Uh… what? Are you having an allergic reaction? What is making you do that eyebrow thing?!
My Innocent 12 Year Old Daughter – haha What?! You know! Lover! Like someone you love a lot.
Me – That’s not exactly the definition of lover based on the way you are saying it and how you are innocently implying something you aren’t aware of.
Her – What does it mean?! I thought it was just someone you love a lot!
Me – Well, it can be used as the lover or an object like “My daughter is a lover of books”. But, the way you are using it is more like the sexual way…
Her – The what way?!?!?!?!
Me – Like a lover can be used as being someone a person is having sex with and it used to mostly mean having sex out of marriage or in an affair way…
My Completely Embarrassed 12 Year Old – Oh. NO!! EEEEEWWWWW….
Me – So, yeah. Read your fricken dictionary!
Her – MOMMY!!! You listen to a lot of inappropriate music with that word in it!!!
Me – What?!
My Adorable Now Freaking Out 12 Year Old – And oh my gosh I used that lover thing a lot and it’s all so gross now!! I’m replaying every time my friends and I said it. We are disgusting and don’t even know it. How embarrassing!!!
Me – Well, that word you keep using. I do not think it means what you think it means…
Her – Not funny… eeeewwwwwwww… I used that word with my kittens! Like that they are my lovers!!
Me – That is gross and we wouldn’t call that lovers it’s a different word entirely …
Her – I don’t want to know. Ever. I’m ruined.
Me – I’m loving this! Use. Your. Dictionary!!
My Completely Mortified 12 Year Old – Wait… WHY IS THERE A WORD ABOUT CAT SEX?!
and I left it at that… laugh snorting so hard I couldn’t breath.
Teenagers are hysterical.
About Leila DontSpeakWhinese
Leila, aka The Ninja, is the advocate for all things not whining. Parenting is fun when everyone stops b*tching! She is the Mom of a big blended family of five awesome kids. They ninja kick through life together. Oh and she is a total jackass.