Friendships Should Not Require Lube

by Leila on July 9, 2011

My friend Charla said to me, “Relationships are the most important things in our lives!” and while I initially snickered at her adorable enthusiasm I knew how right she really is.

A relationship is defined as: The way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected

By that definition it can definitely be said that I have a really great relationship with my battery operated friends.

When you really think about it all relationships in your life are the things that will comfort, guide, protect, motivate and potentially annoy the freaking crap out of you more than anything else. No matter what you do your life is surrounded by connections.

Connecting is easy but figuring out what a true friendship is will be the harder question and answer.

I’m not talking about surface “How do you do” bullshit two people say cordially in passing… I mean the real deal. The besties for life. The ultimate bromance. The man-wife and chick-hubby! The type of friendship that you know your homie has your back regardless if you talk daily, once a month, twice a year or pick up years later as if no time has passed.

Why? Because the connection is solid, easy and it doesn’t require any forcing.

It just fits right and no lube required.

Sure, no friendship is perfect and there will always be bumps in the road but no one should have to constantly make exceptions, walk on eggshells or after hanging out with someone want to poke their eyes out with spoons.

Just like a romantic relationship you cannot possibly know how to be cool with someone unless you know what you need out of that friendship. Everyone is different so therefore everyone has different expectation and those change all the time! All you can do is know you, your faults, your assets and stick to your expectations. Do you find yourself frustrated with a friendship? Is this something the other person is doing or do you expect something different than the friend can give? Is someone expecting someone else to change? It can be as simple as accepting that the other person has a different point of view or that two people just don’t mix well.

Of course you will find shitheads, selfish asshats and two-faced gossipy douchebags. It sucks when someone brings drama into your life. So, what if a friendship turns sour and becomes a frenemy? You need to flush it!

Removing a toxic friend from your life is like finally taking a big giant poop that you held on to for too long. It was uncomfortable holding on to it but you couldn’t find the right time or place to let it go. After the release you look in the porcelain bowl of the friendship and realize that it is just a bunch of shit you didn’t want to begin with.

Ultimately you are in control over the people in your lives so you control the friendships you keep. If you let shit get tracked in then get a broom, mop, steamvac and remove that shit from your home! Then invite the febreeze like friends over that help mask the smell and forget about that shit with some wine and laughs. Sweep out the negativity and welcome the positives.

I’m very thankful for all the amazing people in our lives. My kids and I are very fortunate to have so many loved ones that are there for us when we need them and include us in their worlds. I have friends that I have known for over a decade and new friends that are like extended family. I’d like to think that these awesome connections have been made because of the honesty and understanding of everyone’s needs (and bribery of food and endless supply of booze helps too!) Even though life has a habit of getting away from us sometimes a few drinks, lots of laughs and a good time is all a friendship needs.

Cheers to you all no matter if you are a new visitor here or a lifelong friend. Keep the positives going and release the poop! Live, laugh, don’t speak whinese and ninja kick!


If you follow my mindless babble on twitter you may know by now that I am an active Girl Scout Troop Leader or you assume I am totally obsessed with Thin Mints and wine. In my pre-Mommy years I never thought I’d be excited to see my friends at Girl Scout leader events. I never thought I would get chills and feel tears welling up when one of my girls tells me that she thinks I’m a great Girl Scout leader. I never expected to feel such pride when I see my girls take an extra step to proactively do something in our meetings because they were inspired by me.

I had a whole lot of preconceived notions about the Girl Scouting community and what Girl Scouts was about in general. However, I found my overachieving, extremely outgoing, slightly obnoxious, joking and totally sarcastic self meshing in quite nicely. I’ve also made some amazing friends. The best part of it is that my daughter has found the same positives as I have and it’s been a huge opportunity for both of us to have a “Mommy and Daughter” thing. Also, she looks stinkin cute in her Uniform!

Right now its cookie season in Girl Scouts and I encourage you all to support this cause. Even if it is as small as the change in your pocket to donate to a booth you pass or encouraging the Girl Scouts in your community to keep up the good work if you have nothing to spare. My troop is using our proceeds to fund community service projects as well as an end of year party. I am also able to teach them goal setting, business practices, marketing, sales and empowering them to be their own business women. A small percentage of the proceeds also go to Girl Scouts USA that helps continue to provide this organization.

Finally, this adventure has empowered my daughter a little more to accept her life threatening food allergies and sell products that she knows she cannot enjoy herself but her Troop benefits from her hard work. When I started researching Girl Scouts when she was in Kindergarten I assumed she had to sell cookies and I didn’t want her to be forced to sell something that could cause her any negativity. Instead, she decided that helping her Troop was more important. I’m really damn proud of her for that alone.

And… one last thing… support Girl Scout cookies because they are tasty as hell and some cookie Mom out there had to load up her vehicle, or more, unload them, sort them, count them, recount them and distribute them to the families selling them. Cookies are hard work so thank your local cookie Mom as well because I am sure her vehicle looked as crazy as mine did at some point or more!

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