judgmental parents suck

Have you ever noticed there are a lot of parents that would rather spend their time talking shit about other parents rather than focusing on their own kids?! Or maybe they focus on their kids a little TOO much? There is a not so fine line between being proud and being really damn obnoxious.

Seriously what is with all this bullshit parenting pressure that we have to tiptoe around topics and exude perfection? Who decided that!? I bet it was someone who doesn’t have kids.

Oh you know the type! Those non-breeders that give you the disapproving look when your kid is losing his/her shit in Target!

Or better yet that new parent who is watching you freak out over your older child doing something you SWORE they would never do and you feel that judgment being passed. They look at their sweet little newborn and think, “That will never happen to me.” well buddy, your time will come too because I said the same damn thing! We all did.

Anywho…

It is a tough job no matter if you work, stay at home, married, single, got five baby Momma’s, have a special needs child or have it all seemingly together. I think everyone could benefit from just accepting that parenting is hard and we all lose our shit. It is okay to not be a perfect parent!

I don’t care if your kid is smarter, in a better class, wears better clothes, is healthier, has a busier schedule, eats better or comes from a “good” family because my kid’s rock anyway. My kid’s will mess up. They are going to make mistakes. They are going to say the wrong thing. They sure as hell will embarrass me. They will fail at things. They are going to do things behind my back. But when it comes down to it I will be there for them no matter what. I will accept them on bad days as well as good. I will help them through those stumbles, falls and breaks and we will all learn from it together. I’ll be the rock, the softie, the hug, the acceptance, the boundaries, the unconditional love as well as the frustrated parent.

My children will never be perfect. I will never be a perfect Mom. Life would be boring if we pretended to be anything other than exactly who we are… and that is a perfectly flawed family full of love, laughter, screw ups and a hint of sarcasm.

Oh and my secret ingredient is wine. So raise your glass ladies and jelly-spoons. Cheers to sucking as a parent!


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Tips on Making The most out of visits to the doctor

I’ve dealt with a lot of bullshit from people since my daughter became what we affectionately called the allergy bubble baby at a month old. She was so sensitive I couldn’t risk cooking something in the house that she was allergic to. The slightest exposure caused her to be covered in hives. It sucked. It still sucks.

I do get that a lot of people can’t wrap their head around the fact that a small protein of food can kill someone. They probably don’t have anyone in their family that has allergies. They may associate indigestion with spicy foods to allergies. Or they may just simply love their food more than my kid’s safety. Either way I try really hard to be patient, provide alternatives and educate them… but sometimes people just don’t get it or don’t want to get it.

Anaphylactic shock is something you have to fight to prevent, modify your lifestyle to stay safe, but there is only so much in your control. Food is everywhere and the slightest mix up can make someone stop breathing and lose their life in minutes. To say that it is scary is an understatement. It fucking frightens the shit out of me in ways I cannot correctly convey, but I try so that others may get it.

Imagine a loved one has to walk on a small trail every day to get where he/she has to go. There is no alternate path. It is small, windy, dark and sometimes hard to stand on because the path is so uneven. Now, imagine that this path is in the center divider of a very busy highway. Cars are constantly zooming by. They get so close that they brush against your loved ones clothes, hair and skin. Sometimes too close and bruises are inflicted as they are jostled about. But, this is the path that they have to walk on. You can’t control the amount of traffic and you cannot change its course. You can only hope that your loved one can stay safely on the path… and you can only hope that one of those cars doesn’t wander off…

You do what you can to protect the one you love who is so vulnerable walking this unstable road every day. Make signs. Make noise. Detour the traffic as much as fucking possible. But, the dangers will still be there… and you can only hope to reduce the risk. You can only hope the drivers care enough to pay attention.

I’ve seen my child turn blue, swell up and stop breathing from one accidental bite. It was horrific. I don’t wish that feeling upon anyone. I never want to see that again. So, if I’m considered a bitch because I am going to put my foot down and not want your kid’s death cupcakes in my daughter’s classroom then oh well. I wouldn’t drop your kid into the middle of the highway so why do it to mine?

For those of you reading this that fight the same fight I do… keep your head up, don’t let someone guilt you for keeping your child safe and always advocate even if you end up with those judgmental looks.

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