funny kids

I’ve shared stories and moments about my youngest and his obsession with his gentiles. When you are an adult there is a line between a healthy understanding of one’s body and being a creeper… when you are a kid there is no line. They are just innocently exploring and getting reactions out of people. They have no idea what they are doing but they only know how we react.

And they love pushing buttons. It’s a phase right? It is all a phase. They will eventually stop button pushing and we can have sanity again. Right?! Not likely.

A couple weeks ago I found myself having a conversation I never expected.

“Mommy, The Flash is a superhero… do you know what his super power is?”

“He runs really fast!”

He grinned at me in that way that only means trouble, “Yes, but do you know why he has to run really fast??”

….. I don’t want to know now because I don’t want to know what this child has come up with. Look away, pretend you didn’t hear him. Nothing good is going to come of this I can sense it….

“Um, why does The Flash need to run really fast, sweetie?”

“Mommy, it’s because he is a FLASHER!” And he ran away laughing “FLASH THE FLASHER! HE FLASHES! I figured that out in my mind.”

He went about his business and left the topic alone… thankfully.

For about two hours I was convinced that I didn’t hear what I thought I heard. I also convinced myself in those blissful two minutes that my son did not learn what flashing was and that couldn’t be the logical conclusion he came to.

When he was getting ready for bed he ran through the house naked, flailed his penis in my direction, farted and ran away laughing. “I am Flash! I will Flash you super fast! I LOVE RUNNING THROUGH MY HOUSE NAKED!”

There are moments in parenting, like instilling philanthropic hearts in children, that I feel – Yes! I am doing this right!

Then my son throws a naked monkey wrench in the whole damn thing and I am left shaking my head, telling him that “naked superhero time is over and get in bed” and wishing I wasn’t out of wine.

Whoever taught my son what flashing is owes me a case of wine. It’s only fair.


WTF Did You Say?! On Kissing and Nipples

by Leila on October 22, 2012

My son is fascinated with his nipples and talks about them often. When he is stressed out or concentrating you will find him “tuning in to Tokyo”. The other day he very seriously announced…

“Aw, man! I can’t kiss my own nipples anymore! When I was four I could but five is a year of no nipple kissing…”

Sometimes… I have no words.

{ 1 comment }

My 4 year old son is obsessed with understanding parts of the body and how things work. He was looking at his chest in the mirror and said me…


“Eyes are round. So are nipples. Mommy, are nipples like eyes that can’t see? They are watching yoooooou!”