ebooks

Hump Day Haiku: It’s Back, Yo! Summer Haiku and E-books!

by Leila on September 21, 2011

My Hump Day Haiku weekly write ups have been MIA over the summer but they will be back in full action now that life has calmed down a bit. My daughter has a laundry list of health issues and severe allergies. School was very difficult last year and this summer was all about reconnecting, figuring out what is going on with her body and having as many adventures as we could. Because of that I couldn’t predict what we were going to be up to or when she may have bad days.

I love writing Haiku. I love having twitter and Facebook haiku insult bashes with friends. Hump Day Haiku has become this thing I look forward to every week. I used to write a lot of poetry and Haiku was something I always toyed with… I love the traditional haiku in all it’s beauty… but I also like to think of myself as a wordsmith… molding something a little different and shiny. Yes, hilarious and shock value haiku is not even near what the original art form.  But, I sure as hell like it and I’m glad you all do as well.

I am launching Hump Day Haiku e-books. They will be available on Amazon Kindle and other e-book platforms next week. If you want to sign up for my newsletter I will be making announcement and offering free downloads in the future for these. They are priced very low and meant to be something funny to get you through the hump of the week and share a laugh.

Here are my Summer Hump Day Haiku! Enjoy, feel free to haiku comment or post a Hump Day Haiku and leave the link in the comments below!

About BlogHer:

Hungover. Tired.
Coffee, bacon, eggs… OH YEAH!
WTF!? Oatmeal!?
 

Who needs a man when
You have a wingbitch for life?!
Single Mom Date Night.
 

Lots of fun and food
Partied til my eyes fell out
Really need to poop
 

First BlogHer conference.
Learn, laugh, network, booty dance.
Feeling inspired.
 

Camping:
 

Arrive at 3am.
Tempting Creek by the campsite…
Glow in the dark jigs.
 

Big lovely redwoods.
So large and dreamy. Serene.
Need a man like that.
 

Summertime:
 

Great friends: drinks, laughs, pool.
These friends don’t require lube.
All our livers ache.
 

Sleeping in fort tents.
Pee snuggles. Breakfast at noon.
Summer shouldn‘t end.
 

Aquarium day.
My son liked the octopus.
Those aren’t penises!!!!
 

 
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Don’t Speak Whinese: A Way of Life, a Funny Saying, Guest Blogging and Now a Community

by Leila on August 30, 2011

I have a lot of plans for this little world I have created here and I’m thankful for all of you that are already a part of it! The biggest goal and dream has always been for me to be able to help others either by laughter, some fun free loot or maybe some inspiration.

Don’t Speak Whinese is something I truly believe in because life is a whole lot better when everyone stops b*tching about it! Sure, that is easier said than done… especially when you are feeling down in the dumps, without a friend who gets you or without an idea of how to make things kick a little more ass.

In various ways I hope to help with at least one of those… or maybe just bring some laughs to your day by embarrassing myself with terrible pictures or sharing the really really freaking stupid things I do at times.

I’m launching a community forum here. This is in the beta testing phase and will slowly evolve. While yes, I am a parent, this is not just a parenting forum. It is a forum for people who want to come together with others, leave drama/judgments at the door and have some laughs. Think of it like the coffee shop on Friends… except with a lot more cursing, booze, talk of inappropriate things and I am even more animated than Chandler.

No, seriously. It’s bad… especially when I am REALLY excited about something.

As the community grows and the needs of those within it the forum and sections will expand. There is a section for bloggers, parents, animal lovers and ninjas.

Always for my ninjas!

The rules of the forum are simple. Play nice or don’t play! Please no false identities. Simply sign up and I’ll verify that you are human and you can introduce yourself and jump in to the forum!

The next phase of Don’t Speak Whinese is welcoming contributors here. I gladly welcome guest posts but I also want some regular columns that fit what this crazy place is about. Got an idea for a regular column? Pitch it to me! Not a parent but are you passionate about something else that can help inspire people with laughter and silliness? I want to hear it! If you aren’t up to committing to a full column then submit guest posts in the following categories:

• Food Allergies
• Traveling/Outdoors/Camping/Fishing
• WTF Did You Just Say
• All Things Domestic
• Because I Give a Damn aka Community Service
• I Blog When I’m Angry
• My Kids Are Weird
• Social Media and Blogging
• Any Other Topics You Think Will Fit!

Visit my Guest Blogging page to get more info!

Also, sign up for my email list on my home page! I’m going to be announcing free ebooks, special promo codes and limited free bottle opener keychains… because we all need to be able to get our drink on while on the go!

Please, spread the word, join in and be a part of something different. I’m going to start a blogosphere revolution powered by ninjas and wookies and I want you all to be part of it. Remember… live, laugh and ninja kick anything in your way to happiness! See you all inside and lets get this party started.

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