What if Someone Wished Harm or Possible Death on Your Special Needs Child?

by Leila on September 27, 2011

As bloggers we put a lot out there that can make us vulnerable to flaming, harassment, trolling and otherwise douchebaggery.

A lot of people don’t know that my daughter has Special Needs because it isn’t something I constantly talk about. It is something that empowers us and I don’t allow it to hold us back from having a full life. We truly don’t speak whinese about any obstacles in our way… we simply ninja kick them down, have some laughs and become stronger people.

Earlier this year I wrote a blog post titled purposely aggressive: Why I Don’t Put Up with People’s Bullshit When it Comes to my Kid’s Food Allergies.

The post was meant to be an analogy on what anaphylaxis is… most people don’t get food allergies. I say that very clearly. I will educate, advocate and do everything within my means to keep my daughter safe. I’ve baked hundreds of cupcakes for classroom parties and playdates. I’ve provided classroom snacks, out of my own pocket, so there is no stress on the teacher. Food related projects? No big deal… I will find an alternative and purchase it. Hell, I even volunteer in the classroom.

I do all of this because I know how to manage my daughter’s allergies and keep her out of harms way. I know that I can’t expect anyone else to do this the way that I do. I have a system and process that is very successful and that inspires other families who are in our shoes. I’ve blogged about tips on allergies and birthday parties… as well as how to dine out with kid’s with food allergies. Yes, I’ve made an angry blog about parents who are lacking compassion because there are a lot of people who feel my child should be home schooled so her dietary restrictions don’t burden anyone.

A really rude and obviously angry blogger took it upon herself to leave this nasty comment on my blog.

Ani September 26, 2011 at 5:08 pm

I don’t think that it’s reasonable to expect everyone else to adjust their lives because your daughter has allergies. To say that cupcakes shouldn’t be allowed in the classroom because she is allergic is ridiculous. Why not just tell her not to eat them? If her allergies are so severe that simply being in the same room as a cupcake could kill her (???) why just not keep her home? What if a kid had a cupcake for breakfast and then breathes on her? Should they be banned from having cupcakes at home too? I have a niece w/severe peanut allergies and instead of insisting that everyone else works around her needs my sister just keeps her home in an allergen free environment. Or maybe your daughter’s allergies aren’t that severe? I just don’t get what you’re asking people to do here…

At first I laughed. I thought… okay she obviously didn’t read what this post was about or has some serious cupcake obsession. So, even though my daughter has manageable food allergies she should be home schooled so this bitch can bring cupcakes into the classroom? It is actually a School policy to have no classroom parties. Would she fight the school on this? What IS the big deal? It is a control issue and she obviously has a chip on her shoulder over whatever transpired at her son’s previous school. That doesn’t make it MY issue though.

It is sad that her niece has such a severe peanut allergy because it is very hard to manage. Those deathly peanut proteins can travel airborne at great distances. I am thankful that my daughters peanut allergy was always mild and we have to worry about foods that simple hand washing/wipes and strict avoidance keeps her relatively safe. But, the accusation that I am making up the severity of my daughter’s allergies is really pathetic.

She then followed up with:

Ani September 27, 2011 at 5:02 am [edit]

Sorry that you feel my comment was insensitive, but your demands are impractical. My autistic son only eats peanut butter & we had to pull him out of a private school because it was banned, should that happen in public schools too? As I stated before I have a niece with a TRULY severe peanut allergy and because my sister loves her and doesn’t want her to die a horrible painful death she is kept at home rather than try to police what others consume/keep on their person. Yes, you have a special needs child and that’s hard (I have one too) but parents like you who expect others to do the work for you make all of us look like entitled bitches! Btw, do you think kids leave the classroom every time they have a snack? Hopefully one of her classmates brings a cupcake one day so that you can learn a lesson about being so careless with your daughter’s life! Or, maybe instead of being a demanding bitch you could ASK the other parents to voluntarily help you out, because that’s what they’re doing HELPING YOU OUT and generally, when asking for help, please & thank you can go a long way.

So, because I advocate, pay for and provide food alternatives and don’t put up with Moms like this that makes me not care about my daughter? How about, she deserves a life full of everything she is physically capable of. Strength is in fighting, making the most out of life, being happy… not hiding. We do homeschool at times when she is too sick to attend. Her classmates, teachers and school staff miss her when she is gone. We have boxes of get well soon cards from all the times of her extended absences. Funny, none of the kids or families that have to deal with these restrictions have ever been thankful she isn’t there. I’m so glad they aren’t assholes. I love you guys!

Entitled: past participle, past tense of en·ti·tle (Verb)

  1. Give (someone) a legal right or a just claim to receive or do something.

Yes, I am entitled actually. My daughter has a legal right to attend public school and not be discriminated against. I also wear my bitch badge loud and proud because I will not back down from bullies like this woman and I will stand by those who are in our shoes that need someone on their side.

The part that gets me the most? Her wishing harm on my daughter. Seriously? Anyone who would wish harm on any child obviously has some kind of issues. Wishing that someone would bring a cupcake to put my kid in harms way is just beyond fucked up. Oddly enough… Her son has Autism and she was tweeting her frustrations about how classmates treat him differently. How she is frustrated with the lack of considerations for him. That it makes her sad that what she felt were quirks were signs of him having autism. Yet, she can in the same day turn around and wish death on my kid? It is pathetic. Intolerance sucks all around… why continue the cycle if you know how that makes your child feel? Even though this chick is obviously attacking me I wouldn’t wish that kind of pain and isolation on any child. My friend’s who have kids with autism have a piece of my heart. I know the struggles one of my best friends face with her daughter who has mosaic downs. I would NEVER wish for any child to have anything harder than they already have it.

But, she is going to wish harm or possible death on my kid? Because I pissed her off for calling her out on MY blog? Because I made valid points to her accusations and she had to fling mud at me when her debate was being lost?

I really never would wish anything harmful on any child… I’d wish it on this Mom… because I’m not that great of a person and she kind of sucks at life in my book. I’m also a mama bear Ninja… and I will not allow anyone to bully, harass or threaten her.

Some people just don’t care about others… and that is exactly why I made this blog. That is why I write about these controversial topics. I know other readers who are in my shoes or my daughters take comfort seeing the lengths I go to and the shit I will not put up with. For them I write. For this chick? She can eat me where I shit.

I blog to inspire. I blog to motivate. I blog to make you all laugh and see that no matter how fucking hard life can get you can live, laugh and ninja kick. Yes, I will also stir the pot and make people do some soul searching. I share moments like the ones below where my daughter had the most amazing upbeat personality after 10 hours of labs, testing and appointments at UCLA Med… because people love to see our inspiring attitude.

I also blog to be a part of an amazing community of great people. The Special Needs mini conference at BlogHer was by far my favorite session… because we all have more in common. Because I was with my people who understand that this shit is hard but every child is still a child all the same. Check out what Julia Roberts (no, not that one) is doing at Support For Special Needs.

I also want to thank Ani for proving exactly why I write about people like her. Because those of us on the receiving end of that judgment, hate and ridicule need to stand up to these haters. These are the people that my kids and I deal with.

And I’ll say again in the legal rights of my child and in her public school you think she shouldn’t attend…

Her Legal Rights > Your Death Cupcakes

We. Win.

Have fun trolling my comments, trying to make yourself feel better while trying to discredit me or make me out to be a horrible Mom and otherwise proving how much you suck at life. I’ll be laughing at you over drinks with my friends.

About Leila DontSpeakWhinese

Leila, aka The Ninja, is the advocate for all things not whining. Parenting is fun when everyone stops b*tching! She is the Mom of a big blended family of five awesome kids. They ninja kick through life together. Oh and she is a total jackass.