It takes a lot to rattle me.
I’ve been through so much in my life and rarely feel uneasy for long periods of time… but I haven’t slept well all this week. I don’t feel safe in my home. I don’t feel right going to sleep at night. And I’m feeling pretty pathetic about the whole thing.
My car was broken in to… well, more like someone left it unlocked and someone rummaged through my crap. No big deal really though it shocked me. Can you believe they didn’t take my Harry Potter books on tape nor did they take my CD’s from the 90s?!
Who wouldn’t steal Salt N Peppa… everyone loves to Shoop!!
The car wasn’t the big deal. It was someone getting in to my home when I was gone to watch a movie THE SAME DAY.
My Dad is a retired Cop. I rent my home from him. He is here often. I’ve never been concerned over security my entire life… though I have felt for a long time that I should get a dog or a good alarm system since the kids and I live alone.
But, a huge part of me has always felt like I shouldn’t HAVE to get additional protection to keep the kids and I safe. I’m a strong woman. I know what to do if an intruder comes in to my home and I’m not afraid to do what has to be done. But, I am seen as a target.
Like all people I’ve always thought it could never happen to me… and I thought if it did I would know what to do.
All I want to do is punch something and that doesn’t solve shit nor will it make me feel easy again.
Nothing was taken. Seems they were spooked and took off. Honestly, there isn’t anything of worth in my home except for a bunch of stuff from the 80’s my Dad still needs to get out of here.
But, they still came. They were in here. They tried to take my shit. They intruded on my life…
And that has fucked me up. I can’t sleep. I’m not comfortable in the house I’ve known since I was born.
It makes me feel pathetic. It makes me feel weak… and it makes me really fucking angry.
So, while I am feeling especially negative about all of this the focus from others shifts to the bane of my fucking existence: I’m a single woman… but, if there was a man in my life then…
Fill in the mother fucking blank for every negative situation that happens to me.
Seriously? Is that how society perceives me? That if I wasn’t single magically shitty things would stop happening to me? Bullshit.
If I had a husband this wouldn’t happen to me? If I had a man in my life then I would feel safe? If there was a guy that cared then I could feel protected?
So, in essence this happened to me BECAUSE I am a single woman?
Not only was my home intruded upon but my life was as well.
I’m sick of the intrusion, implications and judgment. I can get a dog, security system and a gun to keep intruders out but I learned a long time ago you can’t keep people from trying to intrude on your life.
All you can do is ninja kick them out the door and lock it behind you.
About Leila DontSpeakWhinese
Leila, aka The Ninja, is the advocate for all things not whining. Parenting is fun when everyone stops b*tching! She is the Mom of a big blended family of five awesome kids. They ninja kick through life together. Oh and she is a total jackass.