I’m on a mission to get my ass back in shape again after I broke my foot. My weight capped out at 186 which is much more than I weighed when my daughter was born and I was just over this when my son was born.
The only time I’ve been this heavy is when I was incubating a person.
When I was growing up I was a scrawny thing and was teased a lot for having the body of a boy. I didn’t get boobs or hips until.. well, long after becoming a Mom. I temporarily had big milky amazing breastfeeding tatas with my first but, because motherhood is a total wench, they deflated and I was back to have mosquito bites on my chest.
I was so self conscious about my body and looks that I dressed like a super tomboy and weirdo to distract attention. I figured if I purposely dressed in an unattractive way then it wouldn’t matter if I wasn’t looking cute.
Beneath my confident exterior I was dealing with the same thing most young chicks do: self esteem issues and hating my body.
You really wouldn’t know it by the way I carried myself.
My image issues became apathy issues which was probably not healthy either.
Then life changes and we have to schedule time to be active. I became a Mom to a child with special health needs which left little time for me. Then I was a single work from home Mom… and somewhere I forgot to take care of me. I just haven’t made the time to be active like I should have. I haven’t been taking care of myself. I focus on the kids first and everything else is secondary. This is also how I am programmed… I find it hard to focus on me. It feels selfish even if I always advocate for taking time for yourself to learn to be happy.
Before I broke my foot I had already put on weight that I wasn’t happy with. At that point I needed to lose about 15lbs which was manageable. Then two months of barely moving and trying to walk only to take care of my kids created a perfect storm of weight gain. I’m 25+lbs heavier than I’d like to be.
I don’t believe in extreme diets. I know I just need a lifestyle change. I’ve been on a modified diet (no wheat, eggs or milk) to support my daughter’s food allergy restrictions but I would have a lot of “cheat” days. When I went off of all of this completely I started to feel healthy again. When I indulge my body reacts. I feel bloated, gross and my eczema flares up. It’s just not worth it.
I’ve started riding my bike as often as I can. I used Just Dance and Your Fitness Evolved and other physical gaming to stay active. I’ve cut out the soda, fast food and junk. I’m just making all around better choices and it’s paying off. I’ve lost 9lbs in just a few weeks. I physically feel healthier, I sleep better and I have a lot more energy.
This shit isn’t easy. I’m not young like I used to be. I have to work hard at maintaining myself. I have to make better choices with what I eat. It is so easy to eat junk and be lazy. It’s easy to choose to be inactive. I’m choosing to ninja kick my ass in place.
I realized that most people lose weight or go on extreme diets because they want to be skinny. They usually want to obtain an image of beauty of something else that often isn’t healthy or realistic. When we fail at this it’s devastating.
That can feel shitty.
I’ve been there and it sucks.
I don’t want to be skinny I just want to fucking love my body no matter what imperfections there are. I just want to reach a point where I am active, eating right, taking care of myself and feeling good. I want to keep these curves that I longed for in my teen years but tone up some of the parts that jiggle.
What I figure is that if I am feeling healthy I will love myself regardless… even if I don’t lose this huge butt that I don’t even know where it came from. Everyone has flaws but everyone is also freaking awesome, beautiful, gorgeous and rockin in their own ways. We need to embrace our individuality and stop beating ourselves up over not looking like someone else.
We are all fucking rad. We are just healthier when we take care of ourselves.
What about you? Are you active and what motivates you to carve that time out with a busy lifestyle? Want to join me on a mission to motivate?! I need all the encouragement I can get and in return I’ll get you motivated. Let’s make healthier lifestyle choices. It’s good for us and our loved ones.
Let’s keep ninja kicking!
About Leila DontSpeakWhinese
Leila, aka The Ninja, is the advocate for all things not whining. Parenting is fun when everyone stops b*tching! She is the Mom of a big blended family of four awesome kids. They ninja kick through life together. Oh and she is a total jackass.