These are things that I’ve learned while on bed rest so far…
When you are laying down and balancing objects in the air with your feet – because you may get so bored you do that – make sure you don’t use anything heavy just in case they accidentally fall on your face.
Everything on the ground that you can’t pick up bugs the shit out of you.
Dropping food on the floor can feel like the end of the world… and it is.
Your children may figure out if they all hide in another room, away from you, they can try to get away with things they aren’t supposed to be doing – like watching movies on their iPads or playing online games when they are supposed to be doing homework.
When you don’t text friends back (because you took a nap) for a long time after texting them something like, “I’m feeling really horrible today.” they may freak out a little and/or just show up at your house to make sure you are okay.
Said friends won’t think it’s as funny as you do when you laugh about it.
You aren’t as intimidating as a parent when you can’t get up from your bed rest position. Threatening to throw pillows just makes kids laugh. They will keep all heavy objects away from you… just in case.
Your internal dialog isn’t as internal as it once was. You start to have a deeper understanding of the relationship Tom Hanks had with “Wilson” in Castaway. Bed rest makes your bed, recliner, couch or hospital bed feel like your own secluded island.
Stacking small objects and balancing them on your forehead is really entertaining.
You may find yourself daydreaming about when you used to be able to drive and listen to music. Traffic seems like a welcome vacation from bed rest.
When/If you are able to leave your house for a short amount of time you totally understand why dogs stick their heads out the window. Also, people will look at you crazy when you imitate a happy dog in the passenger seat… and you do not care.
Pregnancy hormones and bed rest can create completely irrational angry reactions to simple things.
The silence of an empty house makes you crazy. The noise your amazing family creates in your house makes you crazy. Most days you are crazy.
When you are nesting and cannot physically do the things your hormonal body wants you to then you will make everyone in the house crazy.
Laying on your back and throwing objects in the air may, or may not, have the same results as balancing objects on your feet.
Some days are more difficult than others but, some days are still so awesome you forget you are on bedrest and why. Focusing on that makes you less stabby.
You may develop and allergy to people’s bullshit and drama.
For every really freaking mind boggling annoying thing your family does you find dozens of amazing things that they do to prevent you from plotting their doom.
Every milestone is a huge sigh of relief. Every week you get further along the easier it gets. Each and every damn day is cause of celebration… and no matter where you are on the timeline of bed rest you are further than you started.
If you are reading this because you are on bed rest just remember – You are doing the most important job you can right now… You are incubating your baby. Everything else doesn’t matter and don’t let any amount of frustration, annoyance, drama or negativity take away from that. There will be many low moments, and that is expected. It will be over before you know it…
Just don’t make a habit of balancing things on your feet and accidentally dropping them on your face.
About Leila DontSpeakWhinese
Leila, aka The Ninja, is the advocate for all things not whining. Parenting is fun when everyone stops b*tching! She is the Mom of a big blended family of four awesome kids. They ninja kick through life together. Oh and she is a total jackass.