Earlier today I was trying to peacefully sit on my porcelain throne and have a few minutes to myself but apparently that just doesn’t happen when you are a Mom. The kids would NOT stop asking me questions! When I am in the bathroom all I will respond with is “I’m in the bathroom!” and they are supposed to get the hint… they don’t… they keep asking me questions and I keep not answering. Sometimes my daughter will just sit outside the door and tell me ALL about her day. My son will try to demand to be let in. They will go so far as to write me notes and push them under the door and ask me to respond. It made me wonder… do we lose all privacy when we become parents?
Apparently we have no privacy in our home!
My son is probably the most open little human being on the planet and especially when he poops. When he has to (as he says) “drops stink bombs” he will insist the door stays open. Yes, he is only 3 so I cut him some slack but I really do NOT understand why he feels the need to be his own commentator to his poop race. He says things like:
“Mommy… it starting to get stinky in here!”
“Moooommy… I love you! I love my sister! I really love to poop!”
“If you are pooping and you know it make toot noise!”
“If I don’t talk to you I will get lonely when I poop… my poop gets lonely too so that’s why I give it lots of poop friends!”
“When I toot in the toilet it sounds like an angry lion!”
“Hey Mommy… I still love you but I don’t love the stinkies in here!”
“WHOA! My poop!!! Its like a BIG HUGE GIANT SOMETHING REALLY GIANT!”
Or my absolute favorite…
“Mommy.. when I poop really hard my penis dances.. boingy boingy boingy!!!!”
Seriously, what the poop??
About Leila DontSpeakWhinese
Leila, aka The Ninja, is the advocate for all things not whining. Parenting is fun when everyone stops b*tching! She is a single Mom with two amazing kids. They ninja kick through life together. Oh and she is a total jackass.