Valentine’s Day as a Single Mom Doesn’t Have to Suck

by Leila on February 14, 2011

I’m not a romantic person but I can appreciate the sentiment and the mushy crap involved. However, Valentine’s Day used to bug the shit out of me before I became a Mom because of the romantic expectations rather than the love focus. It’s like a rule that you are pathetic if you are single on Valentine’s Day… and why is that? I’m secure in myself and my life and I’m very happy with how it is… but Valentine’s Day seems to create judgment on Singles. Do we have the plague? I’ve got two kids that shower me with love and affection and we have created our own family Valentine’s Day traditions that have nothing to do with Smoochy Mc Smooches. I can’t ask for more than that.

Our Valentine Traditions:

Give back, spread the love to others and put smiles on a strangers face. Three years ago my daughter and I made cards for a Children’s Hospital and it was a great experience. I wanted to think outside of ourselves and do something for others and create a more positive outlook on this holiday for myself. The year following we had a few of her friends over and we made even more cards and again it was so awesome. This year we had this big crafting park play date and the kids made a massive amount of cards. It was truly beautiful. The parents participated as well! It’s amazing what cardstock, doilies, foam stickers, crayons, glue and miscellaneous pink/red/white craft bits will inspire.

Red Velvet Cupcakes! I like to think of holidays as an excuse to make stuff that I shouldn’t! Baking has become a huge part of our holiday traditions. My daughter’s previous severe wheat allergy made baking a challenge that we always took on but now that she can eat wheat we totally over do it! Red, cupcakey goodness and excuse to feed our faces seems like a perfect tradition to me!

Pancakes with strawberries and shaped like hearts. Yup, its nerdy but I love it.

Plant something! Red, pink or white flowers are always purchased on Valentine’s Day and put into our garden. I really like calla lilies so I usually convince them to go with that. It’s also cool to see them pop back up the next year!

Chocolate fondue with tons of strawberries to again give us an excuse to indulge.

Dress up in something ridiculous and take pictures. I’m on a mission to get my 3 year old son to dress up like cupid tomorrow. Sometimes he is overly enthusiastic about those fun projects and then other times he acts like a little diva and refuses! The search will be on in the morning to find outfits to make this happen. Bribery may ensue.

So the once supposed cynic who doesn’t believe in mushy crap has now found an amazing appreciation for Singles Awareness Day AKA Valentine’s Day. I vehemently believe that pity parties are bullshit and you should focus your energy on the things you do have instead of what you wish you did. Believe me there was a time when I felt incomplete because of the lack of romantic affection I was getting on February 14th but then I realized I am much loved and very happy. Life as a single parent isn’t supposed to be easy but we can all rock it and rock it well. Happy Valentine’s Day and love to you all!

And remember don’t stress not having a Valentine… I know I don’t… because mine runs on batteries!

About Leila DontSpeakWhinese

Leila, aka The Ninja, is the advocate for all things not whining. Parenting is fun when everyone stops b*tching! She is the Mom of a big blended family of five awesome kids. They ninja kick through life together. Oh and she is a total jackass.

{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

knackeredmama February 14, 2011 at 2:19 pm

Thank you, this is my first Valentine’s Day as a single mom and it is not feeling good so far. Hopefully by the next one I will be able to celebrate the way you do with your children.


Leila February 14, 2011 at 5:00 pm

The first for me… and well, all the firsts (Holidays, dinner parties solo, special events in the kids lives)… were really hard because I felt like someone else was supposed to be there to share it with me. It started hurting less over time because I started letting it empower me. It wasn’t easy and I remember those first pains. But, here I am shining and I wouldn’t be had I not felt those moments of pain.

Many hugs to you on getting through today. Go spoil yourself a little bit… go get your favorite cookies, get yourself some flowers, buy something to make you feel pretty. Be your own Valentine!


Stephi February 8, 2012 at 1:05 am

My first Valentine’s day as a single mom was spent stressing over a blind date my neighbor/babysitter had arranged – SUPER fancy type affair that I actually wore an old high school prom dress to go on this date, complete with strappy heels. My blind date? It’s been 8years and I still have no clue what he looks like…he never showed.

So I joined some friends that were out in town & they made me learn how to line dance. I had a BLAST! Picture it if you will – 6 ft tall red head, wearing a pale purple gown, at a VERY country dance hall/bar, learning to line dance…by far my most favorite Valentine’s un-Date.

Since meeting my now husband we’ve always spent Valentine’s Day hanging with the kids & spoiling them & planning the early spring garden – I LOVE it!
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