Dear weak sauce jackasses who stole kid’s toys from our front yard,
I don’t know why you felt the need to take our Step 2 car for our Up and Down roller coaster because as a standalone ride on car it kind of sucks now. It doesn’t roll much on its own and you will see duct tape on the bottom where a crack started to form. You tried to disassemble the 12 foot long coaster track but I’m assuming it was too heavy for your weak ass to lift.
You also weren’t quick enough to take the three beat up tricycles that you left in front of my truck in the driveway that I keep on the side of my house. But, thanks for moving them because I needed to sweep where they are stored anyway.
Oh and the three bubble machines you took from my porch? Well, those were the broken ones from last year. You left the brand new one sitting next to the cat food so thank you for your lack of observation. I’m over the fact that you took a brand new 5$ box of giant sidewalk chalk, the two new $2 bubble wands and my bag of foam brushes that were falling apart. You left the bottles of washable tempura paint though so we will just remain content with finger painting for now.
Have a wonderful day and I hope you get minutes and minutes of joy out of our beat up toys and broken bubble machines.
~The Mom who now has less to sell at her next Garage Sale
PS You suck at life and suck at stealing toys.
About Leila DontSpeakWhinese
Leila, aka The Ninja, is the advocate for all things not whining. Parenting is fun when everyone stops b*tching! She is the Mom of a big blended family of five awesome kids. They ninja kick through life together. Oh and she is a total jackass.