Outcast Peanut Allergy Sufferers!! Teach Bigotry! Praise Douchebaggery!

by Leila on March 23, 2011

Did that title get your attention?

Good. I’m probably going to piss off a lot of people with this but those that are constantly bullied, ridiculed, outcasted and shunned because of freaking food allergies need to have people to say, “I’m here for you.”

Today my 8 year old daughter had peanuts for the first time in her life. She has many life threatening allergies so every single one of these milestones is an amazing accomplishment. It means there is one less thing that can kill her within minutes.

One less thing to stress over.

One less hurdle.

One less fucking food to argue over.

One more step towards her having a “normal life”.

We had a long day with the food challenge and it’s a stressful process that takes hours. I’m thankful that her team is so amazing that they help me give her a life like any other kid. There is always that risk that I am putting my daughter at risk each time we do a food challenge… that is why it took me over a year to finally do it.

But, as soon as we got in the car to come home I hear parents on the radio bitching about having to accommodate for a child’s allergies.

Seriously!? WTF?!

To me it seems simple: If X can kill a kid then do not have that around said kid! I don’t care what that thing is… DEAD KID = VERY BAD!

Why is it that a protesting group of parents in Florida don’t get that? They don’t want their kids to be inconvenienced with accommodating a life threatening issue. They say its about rights. They say an entire school should not care about one child’s life threatening health issue. Home school her they say! They don’t want their kids to wash their hands often because they argue that it takes away from class time. However, they hypocritically want classroom parties that involve food to be a part of their child’s “normal classroom experience”.  Dirty hands are okay, lack of compassion is how we live, more junk food to contribute to child obesity is our right… this is what these parents are teaching their children? SWEET! I want to be friends with those jerks!

Basically these parents and their kids have gross hands or want them to have filthy fingers… I want to protest against kids with filth! SERIOUSLY! I don’t like kids touching my face with their grubby fingers! GERM FACTORIES! I want to picket and protest and demand that dirty hand children and SHUNNED from society because their filthy fingers damage my OCD Germaphobe core! They cause the plague! My child got the flu because of their lack of hygiene!

Or, they can learn basic hygiene and wash their damn hands!

In all seriousness its a thing of mine about touching my face. I don’t like dirty hands on my face and I don’t like gross feet. Ugh. Anyway…

When I asked my daughter what she thought about all that madness and if she could see everyone’s perspective she had these things to say:

“People can choose to be mean… I can’t choose my allergies. We should wash our hands anyway.”

“If they don’t want their kids to wash their hands then they can just change schools… is there a dirty hand school? I wonder how gross their hands would be if they didn’t have to wash them??”

“So if these kids don’t like any rule at school are their parents always going to protest against it? What about when they get jobs?”

“Mommy… is this an appropriate time for you to use inappropriate language? Because I will totally plug my ears for this one.”

And finally…

“Until today I never had peanuts. It’s not that hard to live without it. People just like to complain when they are bored.”


And finally the picture above is a picture of my daughter eating peanut butter on a cracker for the first time in her life. But, she said even though she fell in love with the taste of peanut butter she would stop eating it again if it made the girl in Florida feel like she had a friend.

I love my kid. She has food allergies and that is easy to accommodate. I have allergies to bigots and bullshit… not so easy to accommodate.

To those parents that would rather out cast a kid rather than teach compassion… see this blog post I wrote about Why I don’t Put up With People’s Bullshit when It Comes to My Kids Allergies and have a wonderful day.

About Leila DontSpeakWhinese

Leila, aka The Ninja, is the advocate for all things not whining. Parenting is fun when everyone stops b*tching! She is the Mom of a big blended family of five awesome kids. They ninja kick through life together. Oh and she is a total jackass.

Comments

  1. Rusti says:

    I actually read that story via a link someone tweeted to the news article earlier tonight and couldn’t believe it… I’m thankful that my child has no allergies (that we know of) but the protests?? it’s just nuts. absolutely nuts. there is a little girl in Goose’s toddler room at daycare with serious nut & soy (maybe? I don’t recall, she just came from the infant room) allergies, but I’m not throwing all kinds of fits or anything. Daycare provides food for the kids so that’s easier for me than if I was packing Goose’s meals, but still… those parents should have some common sense and empathy.

    also – I think your daughter is brilliant, and wise-beyond-her-years. :)

    1. Leila says:

      It probably would be nuts and soy since they generally go hand and hand! I used to run a home daycare and needed to provide a well rounded diet for my daycare kids as well as make it allergy friendly. The parents who didn’t experience food allergies were very thankful for not having to provide food :)

  2. Rachael says:

    Seems pretty simple to me. Inconvenience < Death

    1. Leila says:

      I like to think so… but many people feel it’s not so black and white. If someone did have a serious problem with the accommodations there are different ways to handle this. Protesting like that teaches the kids… what? Why subject the kids to seeing that kind of hate? The signs the parents made were, in my opinion, very hurtful. I’m all for standing up for what you believe in but sensitive topics like that should be handled discreetly… sad that the parents actions may influence the way that children perceive allergies.

  3. Samantha says:

    I feel for your daughter. I have a couple of serious allergies and grew up before there was any kind of allergy awareness. The first time my throat swelled shut was because my classmates thought it was funny to fill my locker with balloons because I was “afraid” of them.

    It’s pathetic that people are acting like a kid with allergies is just ruining shit for their special snowflake on purpose. I’d rather skip the cupcakes any day if it mean someone’s kid could have the rest of the school birthday experience. Anyone who says otherwise is an uncaring jackass.

    1. Anonymous says:

      I wish everyone thought the way you do! Truly! 

  4. Julie says:

    i am very disturbed by these stupid parents. i just can’t wrap my mind around it. We live in a world where people raise a stink about everything. If it is going to put someones life in serious danger, or possibly death well its simple fcuknuts! I just dont understand it. I don’t know if you have “made in a peanut free environement” foods there but, here we have them. There are also strickt rules about bake sales and what foods are allowed in schools. Its all about educating yourself, and doing what is right for the kids. Keeping them safe should be our priority. Not convenience. They should just shut up and teach thier kids to wash thier hands-= dang i am ranting. but sorry i am just so mad.
    your daughter is brilliant by the way! so smart and so empathetic! she brought tears to my eyes ♥

    1. Anonymous says:

      Rant away… I do it ALL the time. My daughter brings me to tears a lot with her insight. She genuinely inspires me.. I just need to remember that when she is making me nuts when she is not cleaning her room! 

  5. Julie says:

    I just explained to my 3 .5 year old about allergies. I used peanut butter as an example. Its amazing how they understand that if its dangerous for kids to be around certain foods because of allergies, then we just shouldn’t have them outside of the house. Loveliness said she would rather play with your daughter. and washing her hands to keep kids safe is a good idea.

    1. Anonymous says:

      I can’t believe I never saw this comment before! You now brought tears to my eyes. I love kids and their thoughtfulness… if only most adults could learn from them. 

  6. Tim says:

    I love that your daughter is more mature than most of the idiot adults. Also because she asked “Mommy… is this an appropriate time for you to use inappropriate language? Because I will totally plug my ears for this one.” That is one cool kid! :)

    1. Anonymous says:

      Thanks Tim! Her and I obviously have a lot of talks about inappropriate language. ;)  

  7. Good Day Regular People says:

    High five.

    I am TIRED of people talking about the inconvenience of NO NUT zones when I’m talking about death, and my children.

    Get it together people, and be kind to one another.

    We’re all on this planet together.

    1. Anonymous says:

      WORD!

      I think possible death outweighs any inconvenience. 

  8. Julie says:

    These parents are having a hard time identifying what’s really upsetting them. It’s not that the kids have to wash their hands, or that certain foods can’t be eaten in a group setting. It’s that our world is an increasingly dangerous place, and since they can’t protect their kids from terrorists and superviruses, they focus on what they think they can control. It’s a rough situation all around, because scared people = stupid people, and stupid people have the capacity to cause great harm in large groups, which just perpetuates the cycle. 

    I love that she got to eat peanut butter today. I love that she was surrounded by a team that was ready to jump and and save her life, and that knowing she could be harmed, she bit into anyway.

    Kid’s got balls.

    1. I agree wholeheartedly! Fear creates stupidity… or vice versa! Ignorance also creates so much confusion and hysteria because people try to rationalize their fears.

      Thank you…. I am really impressed with my daughter stepping up to take on these challenges. So many of my friends won’t even bother trying to do food challenges or their kids will just refuse.

      On the surface I am always a rock solid example of support.. inside I am screaming, running in circles and freaking out to my core! lol

  9. my oldest is deathly allergic to peanuts, thankfully he outgrew the eggs, wheat, and soy…but when he was in preschool it was nut free because of him, and I overheard some mother bitch about how my kid thought he was so damn special…oh yeah, mature.  How right, my (then) 3 yr old really felt so fucking special…and yeah, I gave her a piece of my mind right there in front of everyone…that bitch

    1. I’m glad to hear that the school made it peanut free! Some won’t because it gives a “false sense of security”. You will always find those asshats that react the same way the Mom did.. Kudos to you for giving her a piece of your mind :D

  10. Your daughter and I seem like we have a lot in common. First thing I thought was “Wow, did they just say they don’t want their kids washing their hands?” I just bookmarked this site; great stuff you write.

    I can’t imagine being allergic soy, even with all of the allergies I have. That can’t be fun :/

    1. Thank you for your comment Christian! It especially means a lot to me to hear from someone who -gets- what my daughter goes through. Though food allergies are on the rise the level of understanding and empathy seem to be severely lacking.

      Soy was the allergy that made everything difficult even though she could mostly have soybean oil and anything with the soy lecithin emulsifier. It was especially difficult in Texas because of cross-reactivity! Birch and soy are in the same category of allergens as legumes, peanuts and peas.. so because the birch pollen was so high I had to be VERY careful with soy and peas. 

      Oh yeah.. and people should encourage their kids to wash hands no matter what the reason or frequency. Kids hands are gross ;)

  11. Kristin Shaw says:

    I love your kid too: “I’d stop eating peanuts again if the kid in Florida would feel like she had a friend.” Priceless! Clearly, you do not suck at being a mom. :-)
    Kristin Shaw recently posted..A toast to cigars and rooftop bars… and airportsMy Profile

  12. Rhonda. says:

    We have a little girl around the corner with nut allergies – any time she comes over to play, we wash all food prep surfaces, hands, floors, etc. And at trick or treat time, we make sure we have treats with no nuts. How easy is that? And then she knows that there is at least one house where she doesn’t have to be worried about whether or not she can visit safely.

    You go, mama! And I thought it was very touching that your little one was willing to give up nuts to help another. She is a sweet heart.
    Rhonda. recently posted..School = Money SinkMy Profile

  13. [...] as how to dine out with kid’s with food allergies. Yes, I’ve made an angry blog about parents who are lacking compassion because there are a lot of people who feel my child should be home schooled so her dietary [...]

  14. MNP says:

    I would LOVE a bumper sticker that read ” Teach bigotry! Praise Douchebaggery!!” I think it would go a long way considering all of the jerks bitching about anything and everything that doesn’t fit their ideal.
    I’ve been lucky (so far) with my daughters PA and other parents. Her school is accommodating without alienating her. I am very thankful.
    Thanks for your unapologetic take on dealing with irrational losers. It empowers me!

    1. Leila says:

      Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment!! Empowering is what I try to do (and add some humor in there… and occasionally piss people off) – the fact that people take to extremes when it comes to a child’s health astounds and saddens me. People who do these things don’t even realize they are being asses. They justify it because they feel the child is to blame or the parents are being extremists.

      People in the world need to just be cool and suck a little less!

  15. Leighann says:

    THANK YOU. Thank you so very much! My daughter has a severe allergy to peanuts and it breaks my heart when people complain and tell me that I should manage her environment more, that it is MY responsibility, not theirs to take care of her allergy. You have said it perfectly and so has your daughter.
    I want to hug the shit out of you.
    Leighann recently posted..Must Have Appliances for your Home – SponsoredMy Profile

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