HumpDay Haiku: Fashion Fail and G-Strings aka Flass aka Ass Floss

by Leila on June 1, 2011

This week’s Hump Day Haiku is arriving a little late… why? Because we have been sick! Again. I thought it was Tuesday. Damn.

I entered the Secret Style Suit giveaway this week. They are giving away Style Sessions at BlogHer 2011 for 12 lucky winners. I’ve been following that giveaway for a couple weeks. At first I was going to create a funny post based around the idea that if they didn’t give me a style session I was going to wear something horrible, follow them around and say I was with them.

I decided I didn’t want a restraining order before my first Blog Conference!

The second Blog Conference on the other hand…

Anyway I ended up writing about how I have no fashion sense… and where that comes from. Here is the secret: I actually like following fashion trends I was just extremely jaded by Girl Wars when I was a kid. I will browse catalogs, etsy shops and websites dedicated to fashion. I love sewing because I love creating clothes, costumes and couture. It’s just fun. But, I also like being comfortable and while I would love to wear an amazing dress created by Gibbous Fashion but I would look like a complete jackass wearing it to a PTA meeting or shopping at Trader Joes.

However since I don’t care if I look like a jackass or not I would probably wear it anyway if I acquired one and if someone laughed at me I would threaten them with bodily harm!!!!

Which would again land me with a restraining order (sigh)

For some reason I was rambling about g-strings on Twitter this week. I was talking about how g-strings are basically ass floss and I don’t need my underwear to be in places I didn’t know I had places! That is where I came up with the new word for G-strings: Flass… its floss for your ass!

I know there is something wrong with me.

So here is this week’s Hump Day Haiku dedicated to Fashion… or lack thereof and flossin yo ass!


Sometimes I dress up
You Actually Look Nice!
My friends always say.

Tank Tops. Converse Shoes.
Band Shirts. Comfy pants. Make up??
Yeah, I can’t get dates.

Underwear lines are
fine when compared to g-strings.
Flass: Floss for your ass!

Wedgies I pick all
damn day. I can’t wear g-strings.
My butt will eat them.

If you like want to participate in Hump Day Haiku then please do! You can comment below with a haiku or blog it and link back to me! Feel free to grab my Hump Day Haiku button on my button page.

About Leila DontSpeakWhinese

Leila, aka The Ninja, is the advocate for all things not whining. Parenting is fun when everyone stops b*tching! She is the Mom of a big blended family of five awesome kids. They ninja kick through life together. Oh and she is a total jackass.

{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Thauna K June 2, 2011 at 2:01 am

I’ve never been able to write a decent Haiku….I admire the skill and you made me giggle. :)


Anonymous June 2, 2011 at 8:39 pm

Thank you! You should just give it a try :) 


Anonymous June 2, 2011 at 4:37 am

Toilet paper fail
I feel something dangling…damn
Flass to the rescue!


Anonymous June 2, 2011 at 8:39 pm

OMG.. Shane!!!! I just choked hahahaha


Anonymous June 3, 2011 at 3:23 am

lol.  I like HumpDay Haiku…moar people need to participate! 


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