Why I Don’t Put Up With People’s BS When It Comes to My Kid’s Food Allergies

by Leila on March 1, 2011

Tips on Making The most out of visits to the doctor

I’ve dealt with a lot of bullshit from people since my daughter became what we affectionately called the allergy bubble baby at a month old. She was so sensitive I couldn’t risk cooking something in the house that she was allergic to. The slightest exposure caused her to be covered in hives. It sucked. It still sucks.

I do get that a lot of people can’t wrap their head around the fact that a small protein of food can kill someone. They probably don’t have anyone in their family that has allergies. They may associate indigestion with spicy foods to allergies. Or they may just simply love their food more than my kid’s safety. Either way I try really hard to be patient, provide alternatives and educate them… but sometimes people just don’t get it or don’t want to get it.

Anaphylactic shock is something you have to fight to prevent, modify your lifestyle to stay safe, but there is only so much in your control. Food is everywhere and the slightest mix up can make someone stop breathing and lose their life in minutes. To say that it is scary is an understatement. It fucking frightens the shit out of me in ways I cannot correctly convey, but I try so that others may get it.

Imagine a loved one has to walk on a small trail every day to get where he/she has to go. There is no alternate path. It is small, windy, dark and sometimes hard to stand on because the path is so uneven. Now, imagine that this path is in the center divider of a very busy highway. Cars are constantly zooming by. They get so close that they brush against your loved ones clothes, hair and skin. Sometimes too close and bruises are inflicted as they are jostled about. But, this is the path that they have to walk on. You can’t control the amount of traffic and you cannot change its course. You can only hope that your loved one can stay safely on the path… and you can only hope that one of those cars doesn’t wander off…

You do what you can to protect the one you love who is so vulnerable walking this unstable road every day. Make signs. Make noise. Detour the traffic as much as fucking possible. But, the dangers will still be there… and you can only hope to reduce the risk. You can only hope the drivers care enough to pay attention.

I’ve seen my child turn blue, swell up and stop breathing from one accidental bite. It was horrific. I don’t wish that feeling upon anyone. I never want to see that again. So, if I’m considered a bitch because I am going to put my foot down and not want your kid’s death cupcakes in my daughter’s classroom then oh well. I wouldn’t drop your kid into the middle of the highway so why do it to mine?

For those of you reading this that fight the same fight I do… keep your head up, don’t let someone guilt you for keeping your child safe and always advocate even if you end up with those judgmental looks.

About Leila DontSpeakWhinese

Leila, aka The Ninja, is the advocate for all things not whining. Parenting is fun when everyone stops b*tching! She is the Mom of a big blended family of five awesome kids. They ninja kick through life together. Oh and she is a total jackass.

Comments

  1. Redawna says:

    I agree with you, people just don’t get it. Or the fear a parent feels worrying about what their child may be eating or exposed to.

    Until you have rushed your child to the emergency room, with a sever case of Anaphylactic shock you have no appreciation of how dangerous food allergies can be.

    Perhaps they should show bitching parents a video or 2 of how dangerous it can be.
    Nothing puts more perspective onto the subject then a child who can not breathe.

    Keep up the good fight Lelia!

    1. Leila says:

      Thanks !! :)

      It is unfortunately one of those things that you have to see it to believe it. Which shouldn’t be the case… hopefully as allergies continue to be on the rise more people will become aware and empathetic towards it!

  2. Apol says:

    Luckily, we don’t have food allergies in our home but, I can image how difficult it must be. And, it sounds terrifying. If the others moms can’t have empathy I say eff them.

    Apol

  3. Good Day Regular People says:

    Just about the most passionate post I’ve read since I began blogging a year ago.

    I wish I would’ve thought of writing about this, instead of just fuming about it.

    1. Anonymous says:

      Your comment means a lot to me and thank you. I’ve been fuming about this for 9 years. I’ve lost friends and had falling outs with family and every day presents a new challenge or idiocy from people thinking I’m just being paranoid. 

  4. Wow. I, too, have been called a “bubble child.” 15 years of telling ignorant students and teachers that I can’t participate in this or that because I could, you know, die, sucks. We with allergies have to look sharp, even around understanding family. Almost died a few years back because my mom made me a bowl of cereal, mistakenly using milk instead of soymilk. About two tablespoons in, I was throwing up in a hospital, falling into unconsciousness. Yeah, I know what you mean. But hey, I’ve discovered something over the years. I wouldn’t be the same person if it weren’t for my allergies. Allergies have forced me to be smart. After reading this post, I can be almost certain that you’re a great parent, and you’ve had to raise your child to be smart in a world of death cupcakes (ha, yeah I call cupcakes that, too. weird.). So while allergies DEFINITELY suck, I can be grateful in a way; they’ve made me who I am.

    NOTE: This is NOT to take away from how serious allergies are.
    Great article, keep up the fight! Bubble kids gotta stick together.

    1. Leila says:

      I just wanted to say that I often come back to your comment and it inspires me. I know that my daughters allergies have molded her, much like you, and they have changed me as a person and a Mom. Keep fighting the allergy fight, Christian!
      Leila recently posted..I Did it All For My Wookiees … and Other Acts of Photoshop JackasseryMy Profile

  5. Wow. I, too, have been called a “bubble child.” 15 years of telling ignorant students and teachers that I can’t participate in this or that because I could, you know, die, sucks. We with allergies have to look sharp, even around understanding family. Almost died a few years back because my mom made me a bowl of cereal, mistakenly using milk instead of soymilk. About two tablespoons in, I was throwing up in a hospital, falling into unconsciousness. Yeah, I know what you mean. But hey, I’ve discovered something over the years. I wouldn’t be the same person if it weren’t for my allergies. Allergies have forced me to be smart. After reading this post, I can be almost certain that you’re a great parent, and you’ve had to raise your child to be smart in a world of death cupcakes (ha, yeah I call cupcakes that, too. weird.). So while allergies DEFINITELY suck, I can be grateful in a way; they’ve made me who I am.

    NOTE: This is NOT to take away from how serious allergies are.

  6. Ani says:

    I don’t think that it’s reasonable to expect everyone else to adjust their lives because your daughter has allergies. To say that cupcakes shouldn’t be allowed in the classroom because she is allergic is ridiculous. Why not just tell her not to eat them? If her allergies are so severe that simply being in the same room as a cupcake could kill her (???) why just not keep her home? What if a kid had a cupcake for breakfast and then breathes on her? Should they be banned from having cupcakes at home too? I have a niece w/severe peanut allergies and instead of insisting that everyone else works around her needs my sister just keeps her home in an allergen free environment. Or maybe your daughter’s allergies aren’t that severe? I just don’t get what you’re asking people to do here…

    1. Leila says:

      What a completely ridiculous response. Yes, I am saying no one can eat cupcakes at home, at school or on the moon. They should be illegal!!! I am also saying that only people with food allergies should be able to roam free and those who don’t must stay home and eat their illegal death cupcakes in solitary. That was sarcasm by the way.

      You don’t get what I am asking people to do but what you did was prove exactly the type of person I was referring to in this post. I truly wish that it could have enlightened, educated or created empathy yet instead you proved that some people just don’t give a shit.

      I think it IS perfectly reasonable to keep food outside of my daughter’s classroom… a place of education… not someone’s birthday party time. Food allergies aside many schools have a very strict no parties policy because they take away from classroom instruction.

      Kids are in school to learn… not eat cupcakes.

      I’m not keeping her home simply because other people do not want to be accommodating or understanding to her allergies. She has the legal right to have an education like every other kid regardless of her special needs or someone being inconvenienced by it. Her legal rights > Cupcakes. We win.

      No where did I state that I feel everyone has to adjust their LIVES for my daughters, yes.. very life threatening allergies and question the severity of it all you want. People need to learn to be compassionate, empathetic and selfless when it comes to a helpless person/child. I wouldn’t take my child to someones house expecting them to be accommodating especially if they have such a crappy attitude towards her health issues… however, what I can do is advocate for a “normal” life where she isn’t ostracized because people lack care or concern.
      Leila recently posted..I Did it All For My Wookiees … and Other Acts of Photoshop JackasseryMy Profile

    2. Michele M. says:

      Nearly 40 years ago, this was the same logic that people used to keep children with disabilities out of the public schools. It was the same logic that people used (good intentioned but misinformed people) to put individuals with mental health issues in institutions for the rest of their lives. I’m NOT equating allergies with mental issues, but just trying to show that this line of thought (just keep your kid at home) is discrimination.

      I work with children on a daily basis that have allergies – peanuts, gluten, strawberries, dairy, etc. These are children who if they are even EXPOSED to the smell of peanuts will go into shock. One student I work with can’t eat lunch in the cafeteria because of the possibility that he might inhale peanut fumes. These children all have the right to an education. They have a hard enough time with school because they already have to be aware of what they eat, when they eat, what others are eating, etc.

      And other parents in the room should be sensitive to food allergies as well. It’s uncaring and heartless to say “Well, just tell her not to eat them” – how about you send in something that won’t possibly hurt another child? Send in stickers, tattoos, or (gasp!) nothing and let school be for learning – leave the cupcakes at home.

      1. Leila says:

        Thank you for this comment. Truly. You just made me all teary and that takes a lot. I echo all of this.
        Leila recently posted..I Did it All For My Wookiees … and Other Acts of Photoshop JackasseryMy Profile

        1. Ani says:

          Sorry that you feel my comment was insensitive, but your demands are impractical. My autistic son only eats peanut butter & we had to pull him out of a private school because it was banned, should that happen in public schools too? As I stated before I have a niece with a TRULY severe peanut allergy and because my sister loves her and doesn’t want her to die a horrible painful death she is kept at home rather than try to police what others consume/keep on their person. Yes, you have a special needs child and that’s hard (I have one too) but parents like you who expect others to do the work for you make all of us look like entitled bitches! Btw, do you think kids leave the classroom every time they have a snack? Hopefully one of her classmates brings a cupcake one day so that you can learn a lesson about being so careless with your daughter’s life! Or, maybe instead of being a demanding bitch you could ASK the other parents to voluntarily help you out, because that’s what they’re doing HELPING YOU OUT and generally, when asking for help, please & thank you can go a long way.

          1. Leila says:

            I’m honestly starting to think you didn’t even read the entire post or missed the point completely. You just wanted to jump on here like an angry bitch with a chip on her shoulder. This post was explaining what happens to a person who experiences anaphylaxis and how someone will do EVERYTHING they can to avoid harm to their loved one. I’m curious where you feel you know what my demands are other than a fucking birthday cupcake.

            No where did I say I expect others to do the work for me. You are making a huge amount of assumptions based on your anger and preconceived notions about parents with kids with food allergies to peanuts. That is obviously a bitter subject for you and I am truly sorry you have dealt with parents like that… but, sadly, you are way off base and I advocate quite the opposite.

            Peanuts ARE harder to control because the protein particles are airborne so a person who suffers from peanut allergies can be in the same building and have a reaction. There is a huge difference in how to manage a peanut allergy vs others because of that.

            My daughter is TRULY deathly allergic to eggs and milk and honestly it makes you look like even more of an ass by trying to insinuate that they aren’t. The implication that I don’t care enough about my daughters food allergies or possible death is just pathetic and your attempt to try to get under my skin. If she touches eggs or milk she will experience urticaria and angiodema. If she ingests it then she can die. This is as easy to manage as her friends being careful and washing their hands after they eat lunch… because her friends choose to wash their hands to keep her safe. Because they give a shit. I also teach her to manage her allergies herself because there are so many people who are insensitive to it. I always tell her to just walk away from people like you that can’t be bothered. When you visit your niece do you eat peanuts in her home or refuse to wash your hands when you go visit her because you have control issues?

            and since you are so hell bent on making accusations… I also always provide a list of cookies, snacks and even offer to make cupcakes or buy the supplies so the kid’s can all participate. The IEP and 504 plan in place for her protects her as much as the school… but I’ve always been willing to work with the parents and do what I can so there aren’t bitter ass people like you who are upset over making some kind of accommodation. If the parent is UNWILLING to work out some alternative then the school says no way because of the liability. Really, we are arguing over cupcakes. Clearly there are alternatives.

            BTW… These things are outlined in my other posts where your assumptions prove that I’m not the entitled bitch you are trying to make me out to be. You are off base, and that is really fucking funny to me right now because everything I try explain about allergies is that they have to do more work and be positive, patient and understanding so there isn’t this kind of negativity.

            Actually, I could have asked in her IEP that every student washes their hands when they returned to the classroom. I could have asked that they wash their hands when they come to school. Instead I declined to have that made a policy because it takes too much time away from classroom instruction. Instead we rely on common sense of other parents and my daughters friends to be considerate that if they are going to hang out with her… then wash their hands.
            Leila recently posted..Starlight Children’s Foundation: Harry Potter, Bowling and John StamosMy Profile

      2. Ani says:

        Social skills, including celebrating birthdays are a part of learning. I’ve also seen plenty schools that serve lunch in the classroom, so I’m not sure how someone with SEVERE allergies can expect to be kept safe? If this is a public school then Leila is way out of line with her demands.

        1. Leila says:

          Celebrating birthday parties are a part of learning? Now you are grasping at straws to support your argument. Okay, let’s say celebrating birthdays ARE a part of learning… I think the positive attitude on how to make it work and offering a long list of alternatives in this post would make it a win/win for everyone… wouldn’t you think?

          http://www.dontspeakwhinese.com/kids/how-to-be-cool-about-food-allergies-at-birthday-parties/
          Leila recently posted..Starlight Children’s Foundation: Harry Potter, Bowling and John StamosMy Profile

        2. Leila says:

          Here is more proof that I am a self entitled bitch… “Finally, this adventure has empowered my daughter a little more to accept her life threatening food allergies and sell products that she knows she cannot enjoy herself but her Troop benefits from her hard work. ” http://www.dontspeakwhinese.com/kids/girl-scout-cookies-are-a-good-cause-and-pair-well-with-wine/
          Leila recently posted..Starlight Children’s Foundation: Harry Potter, Bowling and John StamosMy Profile

          1. Jackie says:

            Well handled Leila! This creature is clearly undereducated! Claiming to have a peanut allergic niece and an autistic child? Just by reading what she wrote I find that more than a little hard to believe! If it really is the case though, I truly hope her sister is aware of the monster she really is! I hope she doesn’t try to kill her niece to “prove a point”!!!! My family took the time to get educated on all of this when we found out about my child’s food allergies. They even help raise money for FAAN every year by walking in the food allergy walk. Thank God we all had a good stable upbringing!
            Did she really wish death on a child? Wow she showed you!! TRASH BAG! LOL! That would be like an allergy parent saying, “I hope your kid finds a loaded gun”! I would never wish harm on a child!
            Hello? Child protective services please! If she really has a child at all, I will be praying for his safety and well being! That just shows how beastly she really is! I feel sorry for her! Her upbringing must have been awful!! What kind of mother and father she must have had!!! I will be praying for her as well!
            As for you, keep up the good work! You sound like a great mother! It is a fight every day just to keep our kids safe and I’m happy to know there is another voice out there advocating for those with food allergies! Thank you!

  7. I feel fortunate that my kids don’t have food allergies because I can’t imagine how terrifying that would be to watch your child turn blue or live in constant fear that they might accidentally come in contact with something they were allergic to. My kids school has the “no cupcake” rule for the sake of those with allergies – how utterly cruel to tell a child to just not eat one… are you kidding me?

    Keep up the good fight. I never saw that you posted anything about everyone changing their whole lives… unless of course the other reader’s life REVOLVES around cupcakes at school… in which case, that’s even sadder.

    1. Leila says:

      Thank you… and yanno.. some people like cupcakes THAT much. So who knows.. maybe life does revolve around a damn death cupcake ;)

      Then again I have this amazing recipe using duncan hines mix and applesauce that makes it vegan, dairy free, super moist easier to make. Hmm.. easy alternatives? No way!
      Leila recently posted..I Did it All For My Wookiees … and Other Acts of Photoshop JackasseryMy Profile

  8. Peggy Gartin says:

    I have no allergies and no kids, but I would happily forego cupcakes in the classroom (or the adult version: peanuts on airplanes) to not see someone turn blue and/or expire in front of me. Seems a small price to pay. And that’s before we even get to empathy!

    1. Leila says:

      Thank you for chiming in with support Peggy! While I love my honey roasted peanuts… even before having a kid with super food allergies… I was always fine giving them up on airplanes. I liked the pretzels ;)
      Leila recently posted..WTF Did You Say?! – Body Parts, Eyes and NipplesMy Profile

  9. Cheryl says:

    Wow, I cannot believe how ignorant and selfish people can be. Yes, it may be inconvenient to try to accommodate everybody, but do you know what’s more inconvenient? Having to worry that your child could die at school just because another parent puts their child’s whims above the health of your child. Leila is right, children are at school to learn and not eat cupcakes. Furthermore, why should a child need to be quarantined at home if REASONABLE accommodations are able to be made at school so that the child can lead some semblance of a normal life? As if these kids don’t have enough to worry about, now they have to deal with ignorant parents who don’t care about harming somebody else’s kid… or maybe they are just too damn lazy to take that one second to decide that party favors would be better than cake for their kids’ school b-day celebration. I pray that the person who commented previously never has to deal with a child that has any special need as she seems to be too self-important to handle it. Leila, I’m sorry you have to deal with this kind of garbage from others. Your girl is one of the most loving, caring and bright children that I have ever met. Keep doing your thing, you are obviously great at it.

    1. Leila says:

      Thank you so much Cheryl. I’ve always felt the accommodations were reasonable. For every in classroom party I’ve always provided a list of safe snacks for ALL the kids in the class with dietary restrictions, I have provided classroom snacks for 3 years now, I can’t even count the dozens of cupcakes I have baked for EVERY party my daughter has attended. I am happy to do these things… because it takes the stress and responsibility off of the parent and hopefully… creates less resentment. For a lot of people it is about control. They don’t want someone telling them what they can and can’t do for their kids… no matter what the reason. Which is why most people suck.
      Leila recently posted..WTF Did You Say!? – On Fishing and BaitingMy Profile

  10. Sam says:

    Ani sounds like a complete douchnozzle. I suspect that her kids will be the next generation of selfish bastards in her family since they are not being taught empathy or a little self-sacrifice for their fellow man. We do lead by example, after all.
    But honestly, Leila…what balls you have to ask that cupcakes be kept out of your child’s learning institution. After all, how is a child expected to learn anything unless he has cake?? Clearly this is a very important part of the educational process. If it kills a kid or two, so be it. Little Timmy needs his sweets!

    1. Leila says:

      I love you Sam. LOL! I know… it is so wrong of me to prevent kids from having cake… even though I always offer to bake them myself and pay for the costs… besides that there are educational benefits to cupcakes and yanno… causing death.
      Leila recently posted..Guest Post on Aiming Low and Why You Should NEVER Ask to Borrow Chapstick from a StrangerMy Profile

  11. Kit says:

    Thank you for this. I’m someone with a lot of allergies (once ended up in the ER unrelated to my allergies and it took more time to tell the triage nurse – who insisted on listing every single nightshade – my allergies than it did to get examined), so I appreciate your traffic analogy.

    There is, however, one thing I would like to point out. Anaphylaxis doesn’t JUST make one stop breathing. There are many other kinds of anaphylaxis than that. The following link is a good explanation:

    http://www.worldallergy.org/professional/allergic_diseases_center/anaphylaxis/anaphylaxissynopsis.php

    1. Leila says:

      I’m so sorry to hear you suffer from food allergies as well. Thank you SO much for commenting, Kit. I love to hear from those that appreciate these posts because they can relate. Nightshade seems to be one of those that people do a double take to! My daughter no longer has her nightshade allergy but I remember always being frustrated explaining “No, it’s not just peanuts.”

      I love that you brought up the other symptoms of anaphylaxis! I originally had a HUGE section explaining it isn’t just restricted breathing because my daughter has an auto immune disease that constantly triggers these things like chronic urticaria, faintness/fatigue and gastro-intestinal issues which most people would not associate with allergies.

      And for those that didn’t click on the link:

      Symptoms and Signs of Anaphylaxis

      The initial manifestation of anaphylaxis may be loss of consciousness. Patients often describe “a sense of doom.” The symptoms and signs of anaphylaxis may be isolated to one organ system or involve a number of systems.

      Gastro-intestinal: Abdominal pain, hyperperistalsis with faecal urgency or incontinence, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea.

      Oral: Pruritus of lips, tongue and palate, edema of lips and tongue.

      Respiratory: Upper airway obstruction from angioedema of the tongue, oropharynx or larynx; bronchospasm, chest tightness, cough, wheezing; rhinitis, sneezing, congestion, rhinorrhea.

      Cutaneous: Diffuse erythema, flushing, urticaria, pruritus, angioedema.

      Cardiovascular: Faintness, hypotension, arrhythmias, hypovolemic shock, syncope, chest pain.

      Ocular: Periorbital edema, erythema, conjunctival erythema, tearing.

      Genito-urinary: Uterine cramps, urinary urgency or incontinence.

      Severe initial symptoms develop rapidly, reaching peak severity within 3-30 minutes. There may occasionally be a quiescent period of 1–8 hours before the development of a second reaction (a biphasic response). Protracted anaphylaxis may occur, with symptoms persisting for days. Death may occur within minutes, but rarely has been reported to occur days to weeks after the initial anaphylactic event.
      Leila recently posted..WTF Did You Say!? – What No Mom Wants to Hear From Her Daughter…My Profile

  12. Dana K says:

    I’m really disappointed right now. Yes, parties & celebrations are a part of social development but they are not critical to a good education. Food is not a requirement at the celebrations. Frankly, dealing with a food allergy in a classroom is far less disruptive to the classroom than dealing with many children on the autism spectrum, have learning disabilities, or behavior disorders.

    I wouldn’t for a second tell a family to keep their ADHD or ASD kid at home because their needs were inconveniencing my child’s life. That child has a right to a public education just as much as my child.

    I truly hope the parents I encounter once Klaw is school-aged will have some compassion for his metabolic disorder.
    Dana K recently posted..35My Profile

    1. I cannot believe that someone would actually insinuate that “kids having cupcakes at school for someone’s birthday” is more important than “the health of another human being.” No one ever died from lack of cake! People CAN die from exposure to severe allergens. The premise the Ani is making is absurd.

      My 4th graders have a child in their class who is allergic to eggs. HE is aware of his allergy, his teacher is aware, all the kids know the Colby’s allergic to eggs. We make cookies without eggs… or cupcakes. It’s not THAT big of a deal. Teaching our kids to have some empathy and compassion is way more important than what sort of snack they have at school.

      There’s this thing called MERCY. It’s helping people who need help even if we don’t feel like it. It goes a LONG way when it comes to loving others… which is the MOST important thing for us to teach our kids anyway.

      Leila, I’m sorry that you’ve dealt with this crap. It’s unkind and it’s wrong.
      And Dana, I know that some people are just clueless… but I think jerks are not the norm. I think you will find lots more people to support Klaw and your family than you think.
      Sarah @ The Fence recently posted..Sunday Funday #3 at The FenceMy Profile

  13. Melissa says:

    I normally don’t reply to blogs but after reading what that woman wrote and following up with the others after it. I knew I had to say something. Especially when it comes to someone I know, love and admire. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to respond to her comment or not. So I decided I am going to say something more important and more me. I must say this. I truly believe that if we had more mothers like Leila our generation of kids these days wouldn’t be so lazy, disrespectful, ungrateful, and utterly lacking ambition. You know how hard and exhausting it is to raise a child. Let alone a child with food allergies, special needs, etc. ?! I am a stay at home mother with a 5 year old healthy active daughter, who is attending her first year of school. And I am exhausted. lol Now I know some of you mothers with 2, 3, 4, 5, etc. kids finds this funny as hell. So do I because I couldn’t even imagine the work, effort, or strength it takes
    for you everyday. But to take care of a child with food allergies, special needs, etc.. the emotional toll it takes on their hearts, minds, and bodies. It takes courage for Mothers like Leila to send their kids to school. Because it takes one second, ONE SECOND, one slip and their child could end up in the hospital or dead. It takes courage for mothers like Leila to fight and show their child they CAN and WILL have a normal life. Instead of locking them up in the house and letting them live a sheltered life. It takes countless effort, exhausting work, lack of sleep to inspire their child to live life to it’s fullest. It takes compassion, dedication, selflessness Mother’s like Leila to go over and beyond their child’s needs. What Mother’s like Leila go through is incomparable. But you know Leila if it wasn’t for people like her. Our world would be a perfect place and have little value. So in truth we should thank her. Because of her, we are able to see you, your commendable work as a parent, as well as you opening the doors and lighting the way for others. Who share what you go through everyday. So I want to say Thank you to you! and keep doing what your doing.

  14. DebbyM says:

    Wow. I feel compelled to respond to the uncalled-for nastiness you have been subjected to. As a mother of a child with multiple food allergies, I get what you are saying, ten-fold. Try your best to convey information to those closed-minded people, then just walk away. A little compassion is what makes the world go around. I hope “Ani” doesn’t ever need anything from another human being with that kind of attitude. We recently went through a drama filled month trying to figure out the best birthday party plan for my daughter’s class at a private school. The teacher finally decided to allow fresh fruits and vegetables, or pencils from the dollar store. Birthdays should not be about drama or tears. My daughter is allergic to many things, but not nuts, and I would never endanger another child simply because my child wanted to eat nuts for a snack. That’s what home is for.

  15. [...] equally while keeping their own child safe. A perfect example of this can be found written over at Don’t Speak Whinese. She unfortunately had to follow up her original post after some negative comments wishing harm to [...]

  16. [...] my insanity on Instagram, Twitter or read my posts about WTF Did you say or telling people why I don’t put up with bullshit when it comes to my kid’s food allergies. On one hand it seems I have very little [...]

  17. I can relate! I’m actually the one in our house with the anaphylactic allergies (oranges, tree nuts and cranberries). My 13 y/o daughter gets extremely ill around dogs and cats and it’s shocking to me how offended people get when we mention that she can’t come over to their house if they have pets. They say things like, “Why can’t she just pop an allergy pill?” It’s not that simple. Even with medication she gets very ill (hives all over, swollen eyes, discharge from the eyes, coughing, sometimes vomiting, etc). I wish people understood how serious allergies are and it’s nothing personal against YOU if we can’t eat your food or pet your dog, but we as parents are simply just trying to protect our child.
    Life On Peanut Layne recently posted..Conscious Box Review and GiveawayMy Profile

    1. Leila says:

      People who ask why my kids can’t eat what they want and just pop an allergy pill make me stabby. It’s like “Why not drink poison and then try to throw it up?”.

      I’m sorry you have to deal with something similar… I am glad you stopped by and shared :)
      Leila recently posted..Traveling to Japan During Hanami Sakura aka Cherry Blossoms SeasonMy Profile

  18. Damon says:

    I have to admit, I never struggled with food allergies nor known anyone with such a serious case, why understand it’s actually quite common.

    When I think of all the undue attention paid to “stranger danger”, it seems a little off that people would be so huffy about an obvious, real, immediate concern such as severe food allergies.

    1. Leila says:

      Thanks for commenting… I appreciate it! I honestly don’t get why people react so negatively to a serious matter. It is beyond frustrating.
      Leila recently posted..Traveling to Japan – How the Journey BeganMy Profile

  19. kathleen arp says:

    I’ve never been in your shoes, but I totally get it. One of the first things I ask teachers and parents at our annual meet and greet at school is, “Are there any allergies I need to be made aware of?” Or when they come over, “Are there any food or pet allergies?”. A little understanding and prevention goes a long way. My oldest son can’t even bring a peanut product to school, and I get it. He can find something else to eat that won’t KILL his classmate.. I have three boys with Autism and I am doing my best to teach them everyone is different in so many ways, this is just another example.

    1. Leila says:

      Understanding and prevention does go a long way!! I’m so glad your school was able to implement a peanut free policy. It is so important that more schools practice this so more children are empathetic to those who deal with it.
      Leila recently posted..Why is a Parent like a Writing Desk – Parenting Makes No SenseMy Profile

  20. Renie says:

    I am glad to come across others who understand. I have found that I had to learn to cook and bake all over again-Gluten Free, Egg, Free, Nut Free, Milk Free, Soy Free-and the list goes on. I couldn’t stand the thought of my child having to watch other kids eating cake, cookies, etc as my child watched. I’ve learned over time to make foods that she and other people can’t tell are allergy free. Therefore she doesn’t feel left out. I hear you and applaud you for keeping your baby safe. I had to go through many avenues with my childs’ school to keep her safe. Education is the key, as you are doing. Many people don’t equate the severity of our childrens illness to that as a child with Cancer, Diabetes, etc, which infact can cause the same results-death-if not treated as a disease. I had to set up a health care plan with my childs’, teacher, guidance counselor and nurses. I had to arrange for her to sit at another table at lunch away from the allergy causing foods. I had to arrange for my child to be able to carry an Epi-Pen and inhaler on the bus. Like you I wasn’t going to let my daughter become a statistic due to rules and regulations. I applaud you and every other mother out there fighting this fight for our kids to have a special place in this world.

  21. Jo-Ann says:

    YES YES YES 1 million times yes. Thank you!

    1. Leila says:

      You are welcome… and thank you for stopping by!!
      Leila recently posted..The Ridiculous Things People Say About Food Allergies and How to Deal with ItMy Profile

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