Food Allergies: Dairy Free Cupcakes Sprinkled with Radness aka My Daughter Kicks Booty

by Leila on August 26, 2011

How often has someone made you cupcakes just to brighten your day? What about your kids?

At first I thought I would write this blog post saying how stoked I am that my kid made egg and dairy free cupcakes all by herself when I was at a Girls Night Out.

I mean shit… she has made them with me for years but never on her own… and she did it so I wouldn’t have to worry about it tomorrow and wanted me to feel special when I came home.

She has a friend’s birthday party tomorrow and we have rad friends that are happy to let us bring cupcakes that are safe for all so my daughter doesn’t feel excluded at cake time. We also have a lot to do tomorrow since school starts soon and I feel like I’m going crazy trying to juggle geese… while bouncing in moon shoes… on a boat… that’s on fire.

Then I thought I might talk about single parent dating and how kids are seen as baggage. It’s like we have these signs on our foreheads that say “BACK OFF” or “DANGER” or “DAMAGED” just because we have kids. It is so typical to hear people be non supportive of “dealing” with kids that aren’t theirs. Really? Yeah, people can suck.

Then I was going to tie that in with how people are stupid to think that a kid who makes cupcakes for her Mommy is anything negative..

If people still think like that even with a thoughtful cupcake cutie then they are just jealous that no one is making them cupcakes. We would mock them and eat our cupcakes right in front of them! HA! Actually, I would mock them and she would give away her cupcakes even to kid haters… and she would then make me feel guilty. Like, really guilty.

Because I raised her to be better than her Mommy… the greedy cupcake keeper.

My nine year old cupcake creator also made me a card. She explained why she made the cupcakes for me and how she wants to one day open up a Cupcakery that has safe, allergy friendly and delicious options… just so people can have choices for food allergy sufferers at parties.

I just stared at them for awhile completely dumbfounded. I was both proud and amazed. Honestly, I started to cry.

I really don’t cry that often… it makes me want to punch myself in the face!

She has had life threatening allergies her entire life and it’s been the biggest challenge I’ve ever faced. To say that it’s been hard for us is an understatement but it is not something you will ever hear me complain about. I modify our lives, plan accordingly, keep her safe and try to avoid situations where she will feel like the weird food allergy kid.

I would give anything to take away the fear I have lived with for these nine years and I would give even more to take away her bad days, pain and everything she has gone through. But, I am so damn proud of that kid for being stronger, kinder and more thoughtful than most. She is who she is because of her challenges and I am a better person because I am both humbled by it and stronger… like a crazy ass Mama bear defending her cub.

Or… defending my cupcakes.

Tonight I realized that even though I always have guilt for having some non-kid time and I am often angry when my kid has to deal with more than most… that these moments wouldn’t be possible if everything was perfect. Perfection is a stupid mirage. Flaws make us glorious in our own ways. I’d rather be a flawed reality in an imperfect world than a perfect hologram of something that I’m not. There is a silver lining in everything…

or a chocolate center with blue and green frosting in a liner.

Either way I couldn’t be more proud.

And I also ate three of them so I’m on a sugar high and ecstatic Mommy rush at 3am. I really hope she loves me enough to also make me coffee in the morning!

About Leila DontSpeakWhinese

Leila, aka The Ninja, is the advocate for all things not whining. Parenting is fun when everyone stops b*tching! She is the Mom of a big blended family of five awesome kids. They ninja kick through life together. Oh and she is a total jackass.

Comments

  1. Megan Kapolka says:

    coffee AND cupcakes… YOU’RE PUSHING IT WOMAN! :P

    1. Anonymous says:

      I know.. it’s like perfection and radness all together! I’m a lucky Mommy :D … even though she hates cleaning her freaking room! LOL

  2. Asianmommy says:

    What a fantastic goal–a Cupcakery for people with allergies.  Love it!

    1. Anonymous says:

      I’m so proud of her!! She is actually looking into opening an Etsy shop for some of her ideas. I just don’t know if we can sell food items here without having a commercial kitchen just yet.. but she has been obsessing over this idea since making the cupcakes!

  3. Kristin says:

    Thank you for this post…my daughter (with my husbands help) made me cupcakes the other day…I’m also allergic to eggs and dairy, as well as gluten and most grains. 

    I totally was not as appreciative as I should have been…I was irritated at my husband for not remembering I’m not supposed to eat grains PERIOD rather than focusing on their sweet loving attempt at cooking around my allergies.

    So yeah, I was one of those stupid moms…I’m going to remember this post and check myself, I bet I’m missing all sorts of loving moments while I am busy trying to solve problems.

    Thank you for the reality check on being grateful!!

    Also I wanted to let you know not all guys will see your munchkin as baggage…only the lame ones. 
    :-)

    1. Anonymous says:

      Oh Kristin you have no idea how happy your comment and post made me. It’s taken me a very long time to remember the small things and this blog (while humor based) is also something I hope inspires. We are all too familiar with overlooking the message and meaning behind situations like this because us Moms have a mountain of concerns on our heads. I’ve been there before and later.. it’s sucked when I reflected on it and wasn’t looking at the big picture.

      Years ago my daughter made me cereal along with hers and I, being the oh so happy morning person that I was, became irritated with her because she didn’t use the cereal I wanted. She didn’t know what I wanted.. she just wanted to make me smile. I felt like such an ass!!!!

      That was my eye opener. Sometimes we just have to see past our own agenda and let our kids have theirs… because while theirs may make them into sugar monsters it can also instill some amazing things in them.

      I’m so glad you found my post and chimed in :)

  4. [...] When Dairy Free Allergy Cupcakes Make You Cry. [...]

  5. Amanda (Renee's sis-in-law) says:

    What an awesome kid! Sounds like my allergic daughter-also to milk. We have the same issues with going to birthday parties. I usually just send a cupcake for her. But then there is the food to consider and plan around. It’s all such a hassle. But I would do anything, *anything* to make it easier for her. My DD is 11 and we’ve been doing it so long, it doesn’t seem to hard any more. Eating out is the hardest part. You are doing a fabulous job raising that little girl! 

  6. Your daughter is awesomeness for baking those cup-cakes.

    As a single mother, I know exactly what you mean about the labels we get.

    And, I really feel for you with the food allergies. I suffer from enormous food allergies and every day is a struggle to find something to eat.

  7. CanCan says:

    Don’t feel embarrassed, I cry at moments like that too, like watching my son work hard on one of his drawings. 
    I do punch myself in the face when that happens.
    Your daughter is amazing. (So is her mom).

  8. [...] When Food Allergies Empower an Independent and Thoughtful Child [...]

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