I guess I expected bigger topics to become a source of annoyance as a parent since something like boys and baby dolls never crossed my mind. Why would boys and baby dolls be an issue? It shouldn’t be… but to some it is.
Sucks for them.
Years ago at the early stages of my blog I wrote about my son wanting a baby doll for Christmas. Nothing has changed about my position on parenting that kids should be free to choose their interests and it’s my job to encourage them no matter what. Over the years my son’s baby doll has been on most of our road trips and camping trips. I say most because there was this one camping trip where “Joshy” was not to be found the day before we left. He was upset. We ended up making a stop along the way to welcome JJ to our family… but as soon as we found Joshy when we got home JJ was replaced. Sorry, dude.
Joshy the baby doll has been loved, nurtured, cared for and adored like any baby doll should. What my son’s baby doll has also experienced was riding down a huge hill on a skateboard and almost getting sucked away with the waves at the beach. My son has taught his baby doll how camp, fish, build stuff with his tools, ride a bike, fly off of the back of the bed of a truck with a makeshift napkin cape, how to scare his older sister, how to “spin in circles until he pukes” and many more awesome things a Dad or big brother would teach a little boy.
Why would any of this be a bad thing? What exactly is wrong with boys and baby dolls, again? Oh yeah… nothing.
Kids Are Mean
Then this happened… I shared this on Instagram
At school they had a celebration to have a pajama day and a movie. The kids were allowed to bring a stuffed animal. My son chose his baby doll. I admit… I was hesitant to support that but I left it up to him. I was concerned kids would make fun of him. Unfortunately, they did. He has been having a hard time dealing with this since then and it’s breaking his heart. It makes me completely angry on a - hulk smash want to high five people in the face – level.
He asked me with tears in his eyes, “Is something wrong with me because I’m weird and I like a toy that other boys say I’m not supposed to like?”
I got so mad I replied with, “Well those kids are jerks that suck at life and are just suppressed because someone didn’t love them enough to let them play with dolls…” and he laughed hysterically…
then I said “Okay, please don’t repeat that.”
I’m not perfect.
I told him “You are not weird. You are awesome. Joshy is awesome. Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise”
They Are Toys – End of Story
We had a long talk about how some kids are not allowed choices and are told something is a boys toy or a girls toy. I also told him some kids may just not be into playing with baby dolls. I explained, as I have many times before, there is no such thing. Things are simply things. Toys are toys. If you have an interest then seek it out and make the most of it. There is what is typical and common but that doesn’t define right or wrong. Some people are just sheep who follow one line of thinking and don’t branch out. For some reason boys and baby dolls is a controversial topic… which is just so silly to me.
Gender stereotypes for toys are complete nonsense and I am very against them. There are no boy toys or girl toys – they are just toys.
Toys do not define our children – Our children define themselves.
My daughter used to run around with fairy wings and a tool belt on. Our oldest, who is in High School, has tried multiple times on his own to get into sports trying to “prove” himself and he only ends up feeling worse because it’s not his thing. One of his favorite stuffed animals when he was younger was a pink poodle that he was teased for it. Like most, all of our kids have struggled with their own identity on one level or another. All I can keep trying to instill in them is BE YOURSELF. You won’t be happy pretending to be someone else.
People are simply who they are and toys are just toys.
That is that.
Who The Hell Are YOU To Say What Defines MY Son?
There is nothing wrong with a boys and baby dolls. NOTHING. There is nothing wrong with a male not being into sports. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a guy being sensitive, nurturing or loving. We need more loving, affectionate and doting fathers in the world NOT less. Embrace and accept your sons for who they are. Allow your boys to grow into the confident men they should become based off of what THEY want to be and not who you choose to mold them into. We should be raising our sons to become awesome Dads one day.
Do you know what kind of man is more desirable? One that is confident, is domestic, can be handy and is nurturing and loving towards his kids. That is the kind of man that is desired in a partner. Nothing is sexier than a man doing dishes. I’m not even kidding.
No one ever says, “Wow, when I look for a man I want a macho jerk who has no feelings, is detached and emotionless towards his kids who would prefer watching sports over entertaining his princess with a tea party. I want a man who spends his life beating his chest trying to prove his manliness rather than picking up after himself or expressing any sort of care for our family. Yeah, that is the man for me.” Okay, some people may feel that way and there are obviously MANY men to choose from who are like that. Have fun with it.
I want our sons to know that it doesn’t matter how anyone else defines what a “man” is. They should be who they are. They don’t have to mimic my interest and I have absolutely no desire to mold them into anything.
I expect them to be honest, confident, kind, thoughtful, true to themselves and embrace everything that truly defines them. I would only be disappointed in them for conforming, lying or pretending to be someone they are not.
I’m looking forward to my 6 year old becoming a big brother this year because I know exactly what kind of brother he will be. He is going to be amazing at it.
And I have his baby doll, Joshy, to thank for that.
About Leila DontSpeakWhinese
Leila, aka The Ninja, is the advocate for all things not whining. Parenting is fun when everyone stops b*tching! She is the Mom of a big blended family of four awesome kids. They ninja kick through life together. Oh and she is a total jackass.