Things I Want to Say to People Who Show Up Sick at Parties

by Leila on December 27, 2012

I’m sick… again. This isn’t a whine this is just a fact. I swear I’ve been sick more than healthy the past few months.

Bonus – I’ve caught up on a LOT of TV… like Game of Thrones, True Blood and Dexter. None of which I saw a single episode before this fall. Seriously, that is a lot of sick TV watching. 


I’ve also had a lot of time to think about people, germs and should be common courtesy when it comes to being outbreak monkeys.

When my kids are sick they stay home from school. I don’t push it with them because I don’t want other people suffering. I don’t take them out. I will try and avoid taking them to the store.

I hope others do the same. They don’t… but I can wish they did.

Spreading germs isn’t cool… mmmkay.

During the holidays, my family does a LOT together. It’s rad. I’m thankful to have such a close and fun family. They are the kind of family that would rather laugh and have a good time than… well… anything else. There are always a lot of parties going on during this time of year. Lots of social events. Tons of overplanning…

Everyone wants to hang out when there is so much awesomeness going on.

So, it’s okay t show up and risk spreading germs to those you love… right?


Stay home, toast to your loved one from the non-germ-spreading comforts of your own casa and give the gift of not sharing germs.

I’m extremely laid back with most things. I have some things that truly get under my skin and/or make me totally crazy. Germ spreading is one of them. Not just because I got a kid with a compromised immune system… but also because IT’S GROSS!

As a person ages a person also has to realize they need to develop a filter. The things I want to blurt out I keep tucked away in my head. I privately jotted a few of them down for my own amusement. Then I decided to share them here… which probably still makes me a jackass.

Things I wish I could say when someone says not to get too close because they are sick…

“I’m so glad that in addition to you giving everyone the shits from your appetizers that you are also giving us the plague”

“It was very thoughtful of you to warn me. Would have been more thoughtful if you stayed home”

“You being sick just gives me an excuse to avoid you which I would have done anyway”


“This flu is going to be the best gift you’ve given me yet”

“I’m thankful you were married into the family and we don’t actually share genes”


“No one actually likes you here. You and your germs wouldn’t have been missed”

“If no one was looking I would beat you with a can of lysol.”

“Does this smell like chloroform?” (haha this makes me laugh so much)

“Why do you suck at life so much?”

“The party would have been better without you and your germs.”

“It’s totally cool! Next time I have explosive diarrhea and projectile vomiting from the stomach flu I’m having a party at your place to give you the ultimate hostess gift.”

“Get near my kids with your germs and I will cut-a-bitch”

“Sharing means caring but sharing germs makes you an asshat”

Truthfully, I would say things like this to my closest friends and that is why I love them. What are your thoughts on people who show up sick and gross? What do you wish you could say?

Sidenote: This isn’t JUST about people I know or parties I went to… I’ve seen people all over twitter and facebook comment on how a bunch of people got sick from a party from one person. Also, I am adding this to save my butt if any of my relatives find my blog. LOVE YOU GUYS! MWAH! 

About Leila DontSpeakWhinese

Leila, aka The Ninja, is the advocate for all things not whining. Parenting is fun when everyone stops b*tching! She is the Mom of a big blended family of five awesome kids. They ninja kick through life together. Oh and she is a total jackass.