I like to write about events randomly and out of order.
My first time to BlogHer was in San Diego. My wingbitch, Mely and I had this super awesome Single Mom Date Night that ended at Sparklecorn.
What the crap does that mean??
I asked Mely, “Are there going to be a bunch of people walking around with bedazzled corn on the cobs on their shirts?!”
To my surprise it actually had something to do with unicorns and not sparkly corn on the cob.
I was disappointed by this.
I joked that next year I would show up as a giant sparklecorn. An actual sparkly corn on the cob and I was going to get my dance on.
We laughed. She was drunk. I was too. She thought I was joking…
Then BlogHer in NYC was fast approaching. I was busy helping my dear friend and BlogHer roomie Anissa Mayhew plan the Aiming Low: Come As You Are party and was running out of time to make this Sparklecorn costume happen.
It had to happen.
I ordered it a couple weeks before the event. I dove in my insane craft collection and found every sparkly thingy I could. I wielding my hot glue gun and I got to work.
I actually finished it the night before I was leaving. My flight left at the booty buttcrack of dawn but I was up hotgluing sparkles to my fingers… I mean, to my corn.
I teased with a picture on Instagram asking if anyone could guess my costume…
A few of my friends responded immediately asking if I really made what I said I was going to last year.
As I was finishing up my masterpiece my Dad showed up… He was watching the kids while I was away… and he asked me what the hell I was making.
Me: A sparkly corn costume. It’s for a party called “Sparklecorn”… get it!?
Him: Is this the party you are helping plan?
Me: No… it’s another one at the conference. I really hope I don’t offend anyone…
Him: What kind of conference is this? “Watch Leila be a jackass conference”
Me: That doesn’t even make sense…
Him: Neither does your costume.
I love my Dad.
So, I went to BlogHer. I stuffed a giant sparklecorn costume in my suitcase. I added a tutu. Mely met up with me so she didn’t miss out on the “grand entrance” aka she wanted to make a silly video like this capturing my jackassery…
I danced with Chewbacca… No shit. I couldn’t have planned this better.I really did it all for my Wookiee
The days and months following BlogHer I wasn’t “Don’t Speak Whinese”… I was the Sparklecorn chick who got her boogie on until the Unicorn party came to a close.
And I’ll be back next year… with more sparkles.
About Leila DontSpeakWhinese
Leila, aka The Ninja, is the advocate for all things not whining. Parenting is fun when everyone stops b*tching! She is the Mom of a big blended family of five awesome kids. They ninja kick through life together. Oh and she is a total jackass.