Four months seemed to fly by in a blink with this little ninja of mine. I feel like a jerk any time someone asks me how things are going now because I always say, “Awesome… she’s such an easy baby!”
I could have been in such a sleep deprived state that it seems like pure bliss… so, there is that.
Actually, I sleep more than I did before she was born. You can hate me now. Though, that isn’t saying much because I was used to rocking four hours of sleep like nothing. Now I become exhausted and thankful that this baby sleeps six hours a night and doesn’t want to be disturbed until after noon.
Yes, you can hate me more now. It’s cool. I totally would too.
It’s been said to me that her being so easy has to be some kind of reward for going through a very complicated and stressful pregnancy. It’s also been said that she is throwing me off guard and will be an evil stormageddeon before I know it. She is already a feisty hair puller!
It hasn’t been completely stress free. She for sure has allergies to milk and peanuts so I’ve cut those out of my diet. I will write more about that later. Now that I figured those allergies out she is no longer a pretty puke projectiler. Vomit everywhere… all day and every day. That was the first couple of months.
My almost meltdown moment was after two days of not showering, feeling gross, sore breasts, nipples that felt like they were going to fall off, an angry recovering uterus and being in that whirwind of postpartum wtfuckery trying to keep my sanity intact and after I finally showered I held my baby girl and BLAMMMMOOOOO SPLAT… puke. All. Over. ME! See? I told you it hasn’t been perfect. I can laugh at that now but in the moment it felt like “fuck this shit o’clock”!
She would go from puking, to giggling, to puking some more, having a lil fit while puking even more and then passing out unexpectedly. It’s like every fucking bad partying night with that one person who couldn’t hold their booze and became THAT drunk. Except this boob drunk baby is adorable.
Anyway, I spent the summer really enjoying my time with the kids after months of being the Mommy Monster from a non threatening reclined position. As soon as I got the all clear to resume most normal activity we went kind of nuts!
At one day this baby girl was smiling and full on belly laughing in her sleep. At one month she started showing us those first grins and giggles. She hasn’t been much of a crier at all which is different because my twelve year old daughter was a screaming terror! This little ninja just likes to growl at us like a little savage. It’s adoooorable. When she gets really upset she cries and snorts. I think her snorts piss her off because she will stop crying, look pissed off and growl. It’s hard to take her seriously when she cry snorts. A lot of people have said she gets her expressions and personality from me.
When she isn’t cry snorting or savage growling she is staring everyone down and judging the shit out of them.
Serious stare downs and a resting bitch face that rivals my own.
She even flips people off in her sleep. Isn’t she adorable?
Almost every day I’ve thought, “Damn… I need to write about this!” but I neglected to. I started a lot and I shared a ton on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook. After months of bed rest and feeling like I missed out on so much with my kids writing felt selfish in a way. I didn’t want to miss out on funsies and stick my nose in my screen.
Obviously, I’m over that and totally okay with going back to ignoring them all and writing again! Haha… Okay, who am I kidding? Everyone in the house is snoring, including the baby, and I can’t sleep. And as weird as this may sound I missed listening to the clickity clack of my keyboard without someone staring at me waiting to ask me something or feeling a baby ninja kick my insides.
About Leila DontSpeakWhinese
Leila, aka The Ninja, is the advocate for all things not whining. Parenting is fun when everyone stops b*tching! She is the Mom of a big blended family of five awesome kids. They ninja kick through life together. Oh and she is a total jackass.