Why I won’t speak whinese about #BlogHer12

by Leila on August 10, 2012

I’ve been on the fence for the last two days posting this. I am not trying to stir the pot or ruffle feathers but I really just can’t stand all the whining! It actually bums me out to see so much negativity about this conference.

First I want to start this off by saying – I get disappointment. I understand that things won’t always be perfect. I’ve been there where traveling, staff and expectations fall flat. Sometimes? Shit just sucks.

I get that. I live that. I embrace that and ninja kick the crap out of the way and focus on the good.

Sure, there were hiccups, annoyances and there is just no way everyone will be happy with everything.

Why focus on the negativity? Stop and think – is this one thing getting under your skin worth it?

Why so serious?

Was it crowded? Oh hell yes! But, that was also known before going there. Over 4k attendees and in a busy city… what did everyone expect? There are large conferences and then there are the smaller and more intimate ones… ahem… like the Aiming Low Non-con!

Was the transportation a pain in the butt? Um, of course… we were in NYC.

Were there mean girls? Annoying people? Jerks? Bad food? Stinky creepers on the bus? Music too loud? Bad staff? Uncomfortable/annoying/inconsiderate/fill-in-the-blank-here? Too much swag? Not enough? Not enough sessions? Too many? Too crowded? Nothing of interest? Private party drama? Parties not living up to expectations? Not enough eyecandy!?

Yes. All of the above and then some… so what do you do about it? Either accept that there will be annoying shit and make the most out of it or avoid the things you dislike.

Focusing on those negatives is so consuming. What about the good? That smile from someone you follow? The tip that inspired you? The motivation? The accomplishment that you went out there, to a big ass city with a bunch of crazy ass bloggers in an insanely intimidating situation… and you did it. You went. You were fucking there! And you…

… insert those positive moments here… Hold on to those. Even if they seem minimal to crappy service, rude people on elevators or funny smelling rooms!

Sidenote: I used to live in NYC. It always smells funky everywhere you go in the summer. It’s a smell… I can’t explain it. I got a whiff of it as soon as I got off the plane and then it sunk in my clothes. Bleh.

Never walk around in the city barefoot. *dies*


It’s a conference. It’s not a spa and resort. It’s not Disneyland.

I think we lose sight of the fact that it is a conference. It’s meant to be a way for you to progress your blog – and there are enough ways to make that happen at BlogHer. There are sessions, tables during meals where you can strike up a conversation, expo halls to meet brands, sponsored parties offering every type of atmosphere so you can find somewhere you belong. It’s all there. It’s up to us to make that happen.

Did you go there to learn?Attend sessions and find the right ones for you!
Didn’t find the content you want?Talk to the people you admire most in this crazy blogosphere!
Were the sessions crowded but you REALLY wanted to go? Sit your butt on the floor. Screw it. If it’s something valuable to you then make it work (yes that sucks but don’t let anything stop you from making the conference what YOU want!)
Did you go to network with people?Start conversations!
Did you go for the swag? – Try to go to all the parties that have it and engage in the Expo Hall (don’t be a jackass in the Expo Hall or hover in the drop room… cause… seriously… c’mon… no one likes a psycho ‘swag hag’. Let’s get real people.)
Did you go to get away from your kids, have a luxurious vacation and get your ass pampered?GO TO A FREAKING SPA! :)

I was exhausted before I got to BlogHer. I slept minimally. I was anxious helping plan the Come As You Are Party hosted by Aiming Low and The Mouthy Housewives and worried that I didn’t do enough… that things would fall apart or I’d break my foot again… but shhh… I kept my cool the whole time about it. Being away from my kids is the hardest thing ever since I’m a single Mom and my daughter’s health issues can flare up at any moment. My allergies were acting up. I don’t like the heat/humidity. My foot started giving me issues again.

But, you know what? I had a fucking blast! Was it perfect? Hell no. Did I do everything I wanted? Not a chance. Did I see everyone I intended to? Shit nah!


At the end of the day… I push out all the shoulda-coulda-wouldas and I embrace the fact that I made the freaking most of it and have no regrets – I do have a list of things I want to make different next year. But, that is MY choice to make it different.

I talked to many Whovians and supporters of our ‘Goodnight, Pond’ book. I went to some amazing parties. I met a crapton of people. I got the most amazing, lovely and random compliments on what I am doing on the interwebz. I had a TON of street meat.

Plus, I ran around like a jackass in a sparkly corn costume with my wingbitch Melysa at Sparklecorn so anything beyond that was for shits and giggles.

I freaking snuggled with a Wookiee when I was in a sparkling corn on the cob costume! THAT … well… I honestly don’t know what the crap to call that.

Think of it this way - It could have been worse - you could have been me with this insane idea

Seriously, keep on ninja kicking, stop speaking whinese and make it all worth it. Sometimes you just gotta say, “Screw it! I’m gonna make the most of this biatch! LETS DO THIS!” and power through it. Truly, no one can stop you from having a rad time. Lets do it!!!!

Life is too rad to focus on the bullshitI hope to see you all next year in Chicago.

About Leila DontSpeakWhinese

Leila, aka The Ninja, is the advocate for all things not whining. Parenting is fun when everyone stops b*tching! She is the Mom of a big blended family of five awesome kids. They ninja kick through life together. Oh and she is a total jackass.