“Live, laugh and ninja kick” is my motto on life. It’s helped me learn how to truly be happy and ninja kick life’s obstacles. Sure, life isn’t perfect and sometimes we deal with less that stellar situations…
But, it’s how we choose to get through the day that really defines how to truly be happy.
It seems silly, to me, to write this because I don’t perceive myself as being influential, inspiring or uh insertanythingpositivehere. I’m just me but I share my life and experiences in attempt to help others by making them laugh or providing some insight. I’ve been asked many times and over countless years how to truly be happy and my only response has been to just choose to be. It’s a choice. It is often a freaking hard choice!
So, I decided to put together this list of tips on how to truly be happy and keep on ninja kicking.
Tip #1 – Don’t Speak Whinese!
That isn’t a clever yet obvious way to plug my blog name… it is true. It is the core of what I believe in. Life just plain sucks at times. Things don’t always go as planned. No matter how often you try to expect the unexpected more twists, turns and obstacles find a way of screwing things up. It’s downright devastating at times. Some moments we find ourselves at the lowest point we ever thought possible and it seems improbable to climb our way out of it… but, you will. It’s a moment in time. Do not get consumed by it and the best way to allow it to take over completely is to invest too much time whining.
You don’t gain anything from speaking whinese. Sure, it feels great to vent. It feels amazing to get it off your chest. Sometimes you just want to talk shit, be angry and release that bitter demon! Give yourself a small amount of time to get it out and then stop whining. Move forward because you need to. If you keep whining about the same thing you are just going to keep reliving it, resurfacing negative emotions and probably annoying the people around you.
Wine tastes much better than whine.
Tip #2 – Choose To Be Happy!
Yes, it’s that simple. It’s a choice. When you stop whining about your situation and can see through the negative fog it’s easier to realize that things aren’t always that bad. Take a serious look at the daily issues or complaints you have about life and ask yourself “Does this really make my life unhappy or is it just unfortunate?”. Most of the time you will see that it’s not misery it’s just annoying. Don’t let those annoyances and smaller issues in life get you down.
If you redirected that energy into thinking about all the awesome things you have going on it will make those tiny issues vanish. Wouldn’t you rather be talking about the good in your life rather than bitching all the time? I find negativity to be draining and completely pointless.
When something really gets you down or makes you mad… find something good to think about. When my daughter is in the hospital or we have long days of labs due to her chronic illness I try to keep things positive. It’s not easy but it is a choice. We take silly pictures. We write stories. We plan amazing trips for when she is healthy. What we don’t do is focus on why we are there or the things she is missing out on. We can laugh at even the most painful times.
Tip #3 – Ninja Kick Those Obstacles!
You have a huge obstacle in the way on your road to happiness… are you going to let it stop you or are you going to kick it out of the way? It’s a choice to overcome it and there are detours, reroutes and sometimes plain brute force to get around it.
Find a solution. Be resourceful. Seek support. Do not settle. Prioritize your life to make it happen and just do it. Don’t put it off. Don’t get discouraged.
You will not be able to fight a battle unless you start kicking some ass… and you will probably have to start with your own ass. It’s not easy to kick your own butt!
You can do it and no one can say otherwise. There are countless stories of women, men and children overcoming the odds who didn’t allow obstacles to get in their way and stop them on their journey. For every excuse you may have there are endless examples contradicting what you may have convinced yourself.
The solution is there. Find it. Oh… and speaking of excuses…
Tip #4 – Stop Making Excuses!
Every mistake I’ve made (oh and there is a hefty load of those) I’ve tried to accept it, take ownership of my choices in it and do my best not to repeat it. I don’t make excuses. I try to avoid blaming others because I’ve always had a choice in the matter… except if it has to do with my brother because I will still blame him for all I can. He’s a brat.
Seriously though… I hear from so many people all the things they want to do, or that they wished they didn’t do or hope to change. With these shoulda, coulda, woulda’s I hear a lot of excuses.
“I want to do that but…”
“I wish that never happened but…”
“I want to change this but…”
No buts! No more. Stop it, right freaking now. You want something? Do it. Refer to all of the above.
You didn’t like how something turned out? It won’t do you any good, progress the situation or change anything if you keep making excuses. Figure out what is really stopping you, drop the excuses and just do it!
And to quote Yoda (yes, I’m waving my geek flag… what?!) “Do or do not. There is no try.”
Tip #5 – Accentuate the Positive and Eliminate the Negative!
Did anyone else besides me sing that while reading it? When I was a young girl my grandma in Japan, who was the most classy woman ever, listened to jazz and swing. One of the songs she played often was about accentuating the positive and eliminating the negative. Not only is this song beautiful but it’s also a very Japanese way of thinking.
I never heard her complain or voice any negatives her whole life. She so positive even if things were rough. She told me that it’s a choice to fill your life with good things or bad and good people or negative people. She also said if you were stuck with something negative then it’s your choice on how you deal with it or how often.
Yes, this seems similar to choose to be happy but it’s more about purging the negatives. I wrote about negative friendships last year when I found myself and many friends dealing with toxic situations. Every situation is obviously unique but you can flush and febreeze that yucky junk out of your life most of the time.
Sometimes it’s just not worth it to deal with someone’s negativity. You have choices. You can find a resolution, you can cut ties or you can redirect the situation.
You may also feel like you got the crap end of the stick and can’t do anything about it. Well, you can… it just may take some work. Again, see above.
Tip #6- Do Something Every Freaking Day That Makes You Feel Awesome
What do you enjoy? What makes you feel great? What empowers you? What inspires you? What causes you to jump for joy, pat yourself on the back or scream “Who’s the queen of the sandbox?! Who’s Tonka Truck is this!?”
Do it. Get it done. Feel awesome. Rinse and repeat.
Some days are harder than others. Sometimes we feel like we have no time, no energy and just don’t give a crap. Choose to do something that makes you feel awesome. It will be different for everyone and it may change for you often.
Don’t whine about the day, realize you need to choose to be happy, ninja kick any obstacles out of your way, do NOT make excuses and eliminate any negative preventing you from doing that one thing.
And do it. You deserve it. You need it. Your family and friends want you to feel awesome. You are damn worth it.
I seriously have hard days where I feel like I just can’t handle it all. I have had many days where I just want to break and don’t want to do anything anymore. I’ve had some very hard and low points that made it seem like life would never recover.
And in those times and on those days sometimes all I could do was crank up the music and rock out to something that just made me feel good. Sometimes it was to soak in the tub with a book even for fifteen minutes. Other days it was to buy someone lunch who needed it. A few times it was to go out of my way to help someone… just cause. Or I bought that freaking doughnut I shouldn’t have had.
But, I found something even if it was a moment. A single moment can turn into more. Then you find yourself filling your days with many of those moments and realize you found how to truly be happy and how to keep on ninja kicking.
My life is far from perfect. There are a lot of things about my life that no one would want to deal with. I don’t think I’m better than anyone. I’m not where I want to be in life… but I am happy… even when things kind of suck. It’s my life and I worked hard to get here and am okay with the screw ups along the way. I’m going to appreciate what I can and be happy even if it is one awesome moment at a time.
Keep on ninja kicking and let me know how it goes.
Live, laugh and ninja kick.
About Leila DontSpeakWhinese
Leila, aka The Ninja, is the advocate for all things not whining. Parenting is fun when everyone stops b*tching! She is a single Mom with two amazing kids. They ninja kick through life together. Oh and she is a total jackass.