Hump Day Haiku: Pregnancy. Newborns. Breastfeeding.

by Leila on December 14, 2011

Something is in the water or food around here. I swear I have more pregnant friends than non! So, I decided to dedicate this Hump Day Haiku to all my bursting with baby friends…

As I was writing these haiku it made me realize how much I forgot about pregnancy and child birth. It really is true that once the baby comes you just forget… or block it out… or are so scarred you never want to think about it again!

So let’s take a trip down memory lane in haiku form!

Don’t have kids? Well, consider these Hump Day Haiku as a little gift of information.

Good morning toilet…
and afternoon and evening…
it should be renamed!

Little pod growing.
Excited, anxious, tired.
Please stop kicking me.

The signs of labor…
Mucus plug… its like crotch snot.
Yes, I said crotch snot.

Push. Push. Ouch! This hurts!
Where is my perineum?
Never be the same.

Don’t push with your face!
My body ripping apart…
I just pooped myself.

Baby cries: I leak.
Can’t control breast milk letdown.
I’m my own sprinkler.

Breastfeeding is bliss.
Bonding, snuggles and draining.
Boobie vampires.

Before my baby
the trampoline was so fun…
Now I wear depends.

About Leila DontSpeakWhinese

Leila, aka The Ninja, is the advocate for all things not whining. Parenting is fun when everyone stops b*tching! She is the Mom of a big blended family of five awesome kids. They ninja kick through life together. Oh and she is a total jackass.

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

haiku poems January 25, 2012 at 10:29 pm

here’s my haiku poem

Loving you with all
Protecting you at all cost
Mother knows what’s best

Your haiku poems are great by the way. :)
haiku poems recently posted..Haiku Poems For HerMy Profile


Megan June 9, 2013 at 11:16 pm

Baby’s so small and sleepy
Where’d you put all of that milk?
I am your dairy cow


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