I purposely took a break from my blog until now, but I intended to be back after a few weeks not six! I wanted to give myself some time to focus on my kids and enjoy my time while Chad took three weeks off. I feel like my now six week old daughter has been around forever but at the same time it feels like she was born yesterday. I wrote often during my “downtime” and I missed this space.
Plus, writing about that time a new human came out of my lower region needed a lot of editing. I found myself being even more graphic than usual depending on the day. See, I can censor myself! The graphic stuff will be shared at a later time.
His hair is fabio fabulous hehehe
I don’t think there are many people who think “That was fun” when it comes to their labor experience. But, it really was. I keep saying I feel like I cheated somehow because it was super easy. There was pain but it wasn’t terrible and it was pretty fast… she didn’t just fall right out of me like I had hoped.
After months of bed rest, lots of complications, weeks of non progressing contractions before the big day and I was ready to finally hold my baby ninja princess. I was scheduled to induce at 39 weeks on June 5th. June 5th was supposed to be the day so I procrastinated on getting things together.
To recap – my sweetie and I have four kids in our blended family and our newborn princess makes kiddo five. Yes, we are crazy.
The day before my scheduled baby evacuation day my OB called me while I stared into my fridge wondering what I was going to make for lunch…
“Want to have that baby today instead of tomorrow?”
To which I responded with, “Hell fucking yes!!” I was ready to evacuate her.
I sent my hubby a text asking “Want to meet our daughter today instead of tomorrow?” and he thought I was joking. The week before I sent him a text making him think my water broke (because I’m hilarious) so I can understand why he doesn’t always take me serious.
After multiple trips to the hospital for monitoring, injections and more monitoring we knew a lot of the nurses and had a bit of a reputation for being the “funny/entertaining couple”. My OB said that nurses had told her they really hoped to be our labor nurses because we were so much fun. Our personalities are very sarcastic, we like to keep things light and after some tough times in our relationship we are at such a good place of just loving life together… with a lot of smack talking.
Okay, I do most of the smack talking and he lovingly takes it because he rocks like that. I’m also much better at smack talking than he is. I was shocked we hadn’t offended anyone at the hospital with our word-fu and affectionate verbal smackdowns.
A nurse told me that one of her favorite lines came from me, “Please, sweetie… run your face into my fist.”
My previous two labors were basically the same process – I never went into labor on my own. I was induced with pitocin. I welcomed my epidurals and still felt horrible contractions of doom after. It’s been said by many that pitocin contractions are the worst pain you can ever feel and I would have to agree, though I had nothing to compare it to. Some people recall their labors as being these beautiful struggles of human birthing poetry.
I am not one of those people. Labor hurts. A lot. I’m not a fan of labor pain. There was a time before my oldest was born that I thought I would love to experience a pain medication free process of bringing my child into the world. I’m so over that. Give me the quickest, healthiest and most painless way possible. I don’t subscribe to the Mommy wars of who is better/tougher than who. I just want my baby out and in my arms by whatever method is best for her (and me)… and bring on the drugs.
By 2pm I was ready to get labor going and instead of starting me on pitocin I was given cytotec which helps thin the cervix and get things started.
After an hour my labor nurse came in and asked, “Are you feeling those?? You are having great contractions.”
Uh. What? I felt crampy but that was it. Weird.
Around 4pm my water was broken. My labor nurses and OB commented on my great contractions that felt like minor annoyances.
It didn’t feel like I was in labor. We watched TV, talked and joked around just like we do every night after the kids went to bed. Except I was hooked up to monitors, I was leaking fluids and the hospital bed wasn’t as comfy as my bedrest recliner.
Our kids were with my Dad and that is always an adventure in itself. My Dad likes to make jokes like “Oh, am I supposed to feed them?” or “I think one of the kids went missing”. We kept him updated with my progress as he kept us updated with his jokes about the kids. He is wonderful.
I began texting, tweeting, instagramming and Facebooking – Yeah, I did. A friend of mine commented how she couldn’t believe I was updating Facebook.
We started watching the Stanley Cup at 5pm. Yes, we watched Hockey. I was born and raised a Kings fan while my husband is a New York Rangers fan… this was serious business.
Contractions started to pick up and the amount of curse words I used increased as well.
At some point during the first period my labor nurse called in to get my epidural and we would start pitocin shortly after. I was uncomfortable, but it wasn’t even close to horrible yet. At that point I was around 4-5cm.
I updated Facebook between contractions. Because… again, what else are you going to do?
I got amazing back rubs from my sweetie while we talked smack about the game.
Every time a nurse came in to ask how I was HE would reply with something like, “I’m okay. I’m feeling a little uncomfortable and ignored. This is rough…” – I love him. I really do.
The anesthesiologist arrived and he was a Kings fan. Our labor nurse at that time was from Jersey. There was a lot of West Coast vs East Coast smack talking going on. Now that I think about it you probably don’t want to be laughing so much when you are about to get a giant needle in your back. When you get an epidural the anesthesiologist will insert the needle during a contraction. Because we were all so into the game he missed a few contractions – I didn’t mind in the slightest – it was hilarious.
After my epidural I let the world know how much I fucking love labor drugs. It wasn’t a strong amount since I could still move my legs but it was glorious.
They gave me oxygen and it made me feel strange. I do not remember taking this pic…
My contractions picked up and we kept watching the game. The only discomfort I felt was on the left side of my body but after some repositioning I was good to go.
My Dad joined in on the smack talking and we were all texting about the game. I said whoever wins determines who my daughter would be a fan of…
Kings won. Chad cursed a lot. My labor continued and it felt like I wasn’t progressing. I started to worry that if they didn’t start the pitocin soon I would meet my daughter at 4am.
I sat up to stretch, I grabbed my phone to see what was going on and… I felt pressure. I felt that pressure that only a woman who has had a vaginal delivery understands… or the feeling you have after a lot of food and you really gotta poop.
I thought I was going crazy and mistaken. I thought I had hours to go and hadn’t even had pitocin. It had been 7 years since my son was born so maybe I just forgot what it felt like. My nurse checked me just in case.
“Oh yeah… you are ready. Her head is right there. We are going to do some practice pushes and then call your doctor.”
I was stunned. It was honestly too easy.
It went smoothly from there. Another nurse walked in and said, “You either have a very high pain tolerance or the best epidural that’s ever been given because you do not seem like you are ready to push!”
Yeah, I didn’t feel like I was ready to push either.
After a short time of pushing at 9:35pm on June 4th we met our daughter.
I cannot exactly put into words the feeling of love, relief and happiness I felt when I heard her first cry and saw her.
I was so overwhelmed I was shivering uncontrollably… Actually, I was shivering from the drugs but I didn’t realize that at first.
She was 8lbs 8oz – We all expected a 6lb baby – We were wrong!
What was said after she was born:
“Wow! She’s chunky!”
“She is covered in goo!”
“Why does she look like an angry tomato?”
“She has really asian eyes…”
“HA! This one looks like me!”
“I’m kind of sad you didn’t pass out. I wanted to have more ammo to make fun of you.”
“She is so beautiful”
“Why does her umbilical cord look like a penis”
“That was easy… Wanna have another?”
We fell in love with her immediately. By the time all the post birth stuff and baby bonding time was done it was pretty late. We told my Dad to bring the kids by to see her in the morning. We assumed they were sleeping by that time.
He texted “I think I did something wrong. They are all still awake”
Oh he’s so funny. They stayed up until 1am and were cranky kids he had to deal with the next day.
Instagram, Facebook, e-mail and texts blew up after she was born. I haven’t been able to fully thank everyone for the rad support and congrats we received when we all met her. I’m grateful for the awesomeness. It was a difficult road and one I am relieved to be off of.
As I lay next to her finishing this up and listening to her giggle in her sleep I still can’t wrap my head around how wonderful things ended up being. Our kids love her and the adjustment has been easier than expected. I’m proud of our family and how everyone has transitioned to having a newborn around.
Several friends had wished for me to have a smooth labor after the emotionally draining and physically painful pregnancy I had. I’m stoked it ended up being so easy. But, even if it was the worst labor ever I wouldn’t care. At the end of that difficult journey it’s all just done and over. The pain, the difficult days and the hard times are simply behind us.
The new chapter begins and it all ends up being worth it… especially when I have this face to stare at like a creepy baby stalker.